Car Lust

Nissan Cube

UPDATE: the U.S.-spec 2010 Cube has been unveiled--and it's the mirror image of the Japanese version.  Pictures here.

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Japan seems to be producing a lot of adorably quirky rectangles on wheels these days. Some, like the Honda Element and Scion xB, have become familiar here in the U.S., while others, such as the Suzuki Alto Works, are unknown to these shores.

The most interesting of all is the appropriately-named Nissan Cube. I first learned of the Cube by reading about it in Robert Cumberford's "By Design" column in Automobile magazine. That article focused on the Cube's styling, of course. But while the Cube is interesting for how it looks, that's not the only thing that makes it interesting.

A Minivan is Better Than What You're Driving

(Note from Chris: We've touched on this subject in the past, but this bears repeating. Besides, David's is better--and it's fun to watch him rant.)

I don't care what your current ride--or even pie-in-the-sky dream ride--might be. A minivan is better. "But wait!" (I can hear you say)... "A minivan will make me look, well, like a minivan-driving loser." Get over yourself. If your self-image is based on what you drive, just put a Ferrari Owners Club license plate frame on the minivan. Awestruck onlookers will assume that your Ferrari is in the shop, which it probably would be anyway.

Volkswagen Vanagon Westfalia

Chris Hafner: The Volkswagen Vanagon Westfalia doesn't have much to offer the enthusiast. Even the normal Vanagon was a slow, lumbering, ponderous, wheezing vehicle; only comparison to the original VW bus--a legend of slow motoring--would make the Vanagon look fast or agile. The Westfalia camper package, with added weight and higher center of gravity thanks to its tiny kitchen applicances and a pop-up sleeper tent roof, was even less athletic. The best thing that could be said about a Vanagon Westfalia on a twisty mountain road was that it was slightly racier than an RV.

What the Vanagon Westfalia offered was a dream. Like a turtle that moved slowly but carried its shelter on its back, the Westfalia's self-contained habitat offered the driver some real options. Heading down to the supermarket to grab some groceries? Fine, but if you feel like continuing your trip to, say, the Rocky Mountains, you've got a built-in camping spot. Why drop the kids off at school when you could just keep rolling up to the Yukon Territory to do a little fishing and hiking with the family?

Mazda 5

Submitted by "Cookie the Dog's Owner"

During the last football season, Peyton Manning appeared in a series of "Priceless Pep Talk" commercials for a major credit card company. In one of them, he attempts to console a viewer who is "bummed" about driving a minivan. "Is it at least like a sport-turbocharged minivan or something?" he asks plaintively, before recommending "flames" or a "cool decal" as a cure for the minivan blues.

If Peyton had been pitching Mazdas instead of credit cards, he might have recommended a Mazda 5 instead. The Mazda 5 looks more or less like every other minivan, but when you park it next to the likes of an Honda Odyssey or Dodge Grand Caravan, you notice that it's a lot smaller. Mazda calls it a "small crossover," though it lacks all-wheel drive.

It's a Mazda, so of course the build quality is excellent, and it's as reliable as modern engineering can make it. It has a decent sound system and power windows and all the other little electromechanical conveniences you expect in a modern vehicle.

INCP--Dodge Sprinter

This week I'm going to run a daily series highlighting Inappropriately Named Chrysler Products (INCP)--a rather narrow category, perhaps, but one that offers up a surprising number of candidates.

Take today's example, for instance. I have nothing against the Dodge Sprinter commercial delivery van--in fact, I would have nominated it as a Car Lust at some point on its own merits.

For one thing, its looks are earnestly geeky in a way you don't often see nowadays. The Sprinter is the equivalent of the goofy junior high kid who grew six inches over the summer and now can't muster up any degree of coordination.

The most intriguing thing about the Sprinter, though, is the world of possibility it opens up. I'm tempted to buy a Sprinter just to wade into the mind-bending array of opportunities it represents.

Other Thoughts From the Minivan Thread

Here are more thoughts from the comments thread on the minivan post, some of it directly from the comments, some of it brand new.

On Punk Rock

In the post, I said:

"Popular culture is so anti-minivan today that driving one is so counter-culture, so in the face of popular biases, so keeping-it-real, that it's almost punk rock. In a utilitarian way, anyway."

This line garnered a lot of attention. I didn't mean that minivans are typically driven by punk rockers (though they might be helpful for lugging the gear), or that people who are into punk rock should drive minivans to impress people because minivans are so very cool.

The point is that when punk rock burst on the scene, it was a stripped-down, raw, anti-establishment response to the overwrought glam rock of the time. Toss the pretention; add in a healthy disregard, possibly even disdain, for popular opinion; and get back to basics--that's punk rock. That's driving a minivan in the modern age of minivan derision.

Anyway, it's hyperbole used to make a point, people. Though if anybody wants to airbush a mural featuring Joey Ramone on the side of their minivan, I promise to post the picture.

Honda Odyssey

Perhaps this isn't as much about lust as it is grudging admiration and respect. After all, it's hard to really lust after a minivan--if for no other reason that to do so opens you up to merciless ridicule. Not, of course, that being ridiculed for my automotive tastes is anything new.

Before you begin pelting me with rotten produce, please let me explain. The minivan gets a bad rap in this country--it is almost universally reviled as a symbol of dweebish parenthood and mindless suburbia, a scarlet letter attached to soccer moms' chests. Of course, soccer moms now have embraced large SUVs, which are similar to minivans yet inferior in every way that is relevant to family transport. Of course, now the affection of soccer moms has begun to afflict SUVs with the same stigma that large station wagons and minivans have borne for the last few decades.