Car Lust

Nice Audi R8 ...

... except it's actually a Ford Probe. Yes, really--take a look. If you take a minute to really look, you can see it in the proportions and the wheels. The interior picture is a dead giveaway.

I don't often say this about kit cars, but this actually looks really good--there's something about the flowing rear that really works. For the sake of the proud driver, I hope it's a Probe Turbo--I can imagine Audi purists tarring and feathering those responsible for this sacrilege.

--Chris H.

Subaru WRX STi 22B

To a logical and fair observer, the United States seems like a great place for automotive enthusiasts.  Compared to the rest of the world, we are fortunate to have long stretches of fantastic, sparsely populated driving roads; cheap and plentiful gasoline (for now, at least); decent rural speed limits; and of course muscle cars. Most enthusiasts, however, cannot be accused of being logical or fair on this topic. You see, the vast majority of us have felt the sting of longing for a car that, for whatever reason, is not available in the U.S. And if I can speak for the rest of the sufferers, this experience is completely maddening.

Enthusiasts across this otherwise-great country have felt the heartbreak from unrequited love for unavailable supercars, higher-horsepower derivatives of otherwise accessible cars, Kei cars, Australian muscle cars, and even European Fords. I speak from experience, because I have desired all of these.

Longing for the unattainable isn't particularly novel with any form of lust, of course--if anything, it increases the frenzy. Such was the case for me with the Subaru WRX STi 22B--a car so incredibly desirable and so completely unavailable that it nearly drove me insane in 1998.

Our Cars--"1914" Stutz Bearcat replica

Submitted by John Boyle

I am the owner of one of the replica 1914 Stutz Bearcats built for the 1971 TV series Bearcats! by custom car builder George Barris.

I bought the car in 1998 and spent two years restoring it while I was living in Abilene, Texas. I had never owned a unique (that's a good word for a Barris car) car before so I went into the restoration with blind faith and a lot of luck. Luckily, I had just finished helping a friend restore my 1977 Jeep CJ-5 Levi's Edition Renegade, so I was much less a "babe in the woods"automotively speaking than I would have been a couple of years before.

Mazda Miata

Submitted by Chuck Lynch

I didn't find this car, it found me. I could never have located one like it, they are too rare. But about three years ago a little cash came my way, and with the big 5-0 right on the horizon it was time to find something sporty, small, and red. The final three choices came down to a new Mustang, Acura RSX, or MX-5 Miata. All red.

Time to go a-lookin'. Our local Blue Oval Ford dealer told me that unless I was ready to buy their car that day, they did not have time to talk to me. The last red RSX our Acura dealer would ever have had 400 miles on it, which I consider to be a demo, and they would not deal. And the Mazda dealer also thought highly of their cars; I simply would not pay $30,000 for a Miata.

Off to the classifieds and other used car sources. I was rethinking the red theme, too. Did I really want to attract that much attention? Then I saw one on the road ... a dark metallic green Miata, a few years old. Classy, I thought. When I picked up a local events paper and scanned the used-car listings, there it was--a green Miata with a six-speed. It had low miles (33,000) and was in good shape. The price was good, too.

Bugatti Veyron

It has been a while since we here at Car Lust have covered a supercar. Let the record show that the following is the greatest production supercar ever created--so far, at least. Additionally, in a world filled with excess, few vehicles exhibit their excess in as beautiful a fashion as the Bugatti Veyron.

The greatest supercar ever created? Yes. Yes indeed. For starters, the Bugatti Veyron is powered by a 8.0-liter turbocharged W-16 cylinder motor with four-wheel-drive. At peak capacity these cylinders pump out 1001 horsepower and 920 ft-lbs of torque. No, that is not a typo. The motor configuration is a "W"--so think of two narrow V-8s grafted together. It has four turbochargers. To get that power to the ground, the Veyron utilizes the same launch control technology as Formula 1 race cars, which allows it to keep maximum traction as you work your way through all seven gears.

Sounds fast doesn't it? How about a top speed of more than 408 kilometers per hour – that's 253 mph. So fast I don't need an exclamation point. That is 1/3 the speed of sound, for those keeping score at home. The video at the end of this post provides evidence of this capability.

Nissan Figaro

Let's say you want to live the Car Lust Lifestyle. You've always had a vision of yourself with one of those delightful little British sports cars, like an MG or an Austin or a TR4--equipped with right-hand drive for maximum Britishness, of course. You picture yourself zipping happily down a country road on a crisp fall day with the top down, you in your tweed jacket and Ascot cap, an attractive and crisply-attired member of the opposite sex in the passenger seat.

You are also well-informed enough to appreciate that this dream comes at a high price. The car will be thirty or more years old. It will have rust that needs to be attended to. It will suffer from that legendary British inattention to build quality and durability. It will have a Lucas electrical system, designed and manufactured by the inventors of the short circuit. It will, therefore, be maintenance-intensive. To live this dream, it would seem you will either have to take up auto repair as a secondary hobby, or fund a private annuity for your local mechanic.

So is the price too high? Is it possible to have that cute little roadster without having to memorize its shop manual, or finance graduate school for the mechanic's kids?

Happily, the answer to the latter question is "yes," but it's still going to require some effort.

First, you have to establish residence in Canada. (If you don't already live there, of course. Canadian readers can skip this step.) Why Canada? Well, it's because your cute little British roadster with right-hand drive is actually coming from Japan.

Don't worry, it'll all make sense here in a moment.

World's Fastest Production Car

Faster than a Bugatti Veyron, despite costing less than half the price..

It has a turbocharged 6.3-liter aluminum V8 that develops 1183 hp at 7000 rpm, on 91-octane fuel.

Street-legal.

What is it?

Rinspeed sQuba

Okay, so late last night we covered the early Lotus Esprits and their fictional white submersible doppelganger. The submarine Esprit in the James Bond film The Spy Who Loved Me was obviously fictional--a creation of late 1970s special effects. But what if an actual vehicle could be made to convert seamlessly from car to submarine?

Swiss tuning company Rinspeed, inspired by Bond's Esprit, tackled this intriguing challenge and displayed its sQuba concept car earlier this year. It's a fascinating vehicle, but a close look at the finished project reveals just how difficult it is to create a vehicle adept both on pavement and underwater.

Naturally, Rinspeed started with a white Lotus--in this case, the Elise. The Elise's gasoline engine was replaced with three electric motors and a lithium-ion battery pack. On dry ground, a 54-kilowatt electric motor drives the car, while while two smaller electric motors power small propellers underwater. Two front fender-mounted blow jets pivot to provide directional control. Other technological pieces of gingerbread include an onboard air supply, a salt-water-resistant interior, and a laser sensor to allow driver-less operation (think KITT of Knight Rider fame).

Lotus Esprit S1/S2

Just to get the inevitable out of the way right up front--yes, the Lotus Esprit S1 was the basis of James Bond's submersible car from the film The Spy Who Loved Me. Yes, it was a great movie--probably my favorite of the Roger Moore era--and yes, submarine cars are worthy of lust regardless of their other qualifications. More on that later.

I have always lusted after the earliest Lotus Esprits on their own merits, quite apart from their fictional submarine capabilities. The first Esprits were light, responsive, excellent handlers ... and drop-dead gorgeous. The Esprit would eventually evolve into Lotus' first bona-fide supercar, but in uniquely Lotus fashion--without the excess of the Ferrari Testarossa and Lamborghini Countach.

When it debuted in 1976 to replace the quirky but ungainly Europa, the Esprit was a light, efficient sports car, weighing less than 2,200 pounds--lighter than a Kia Rio. This featherweight packed a punch by the standards of the era, with an amidships-mounted 160-horsepower four-cylinder running through a five-speed gearbox. This combination of power, light weight, and mid-engined configuration combined for handling as sharp as the Giugiaro-sculpted lines.

Volkswagen Scirocco 16V

By any measure, the 1980s were a watershed decade. From the political (Ronald Reagan's presidency, the collapse of the Berlin Wall, the Tiananmen Square demonstrations) to the cultural (Gordon Gekko, the rise of hair bands, Michael J. Fox's astonishing ascent as matinee idol) to the delightfully absurd (Miami Vice, jelly shoes, astonishgly hairsprayed bangs, Van Halen's shifting lineup, Alf), the 1980s have left an indelible mark on the world in which we live. A weird mark, to be sure, but an indelible one.

So, of all the touchstone events of the 1980s, of all the impactful developments of that wild decade, what was the most significant of them all? Well, that's easy--the mass-market introduction of the 16-valve four-cylinder engine.

When tuning goes horribly, horribly wrong

Speaking of Mitsubishi Lancers, I would be remiss if I didn't point Car Lust readers to this epic thread at LancerRegister.com.

It starts off a bit slow, but quickly picks up steam, as a well-meaning "tuner" wreaks havoc on an poor, innocent second-gen Mitsubishi Eclipse with a misused file, some dodgy welding, some badly cut diamond plate, and gallons upon gallons of non-strategically applied metallic blue paint. I'm mechanically inept, but when I saw the pictures of the guy filing grooves into the head even I knew something was horribly awry. It just goes downhill from there. Keep a special eye out for the lunched turbocharger and potentially fatal clutch and flywheel modifications.

The video below catches the poor, cringing Eclipse putting on a very expensive fireworks show.

Like any train wreck, this is engrossing stuff, and it has captured the imagination of car lovers everywhere--the thread has more than a million page views and 46 pages of posts as I write this. Thanks for the heads-up go to reader Caddy Jeff, who submitted the Fedora Award winner in the $25,000 Challenge.

--Chris H.

Angry Cars--2008 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution

Car: 2008 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution

Condition: Smoldering rage, with occasional frenzied outbursts.

Possible Motivation: If you were a mild-mannered small family car and some mad scientist shot you full of radioactive steroids that gave you 295 HP, a base sticker price north of thirty large, and a schnozz like that, you'd smolder with rage, too.

Defining Overblown High-Testosterone Action Movie Quote:
"What is best in life? . . . To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women."
(Conan the Barbarian)

--Cookie the Dog's Owner

The Car Lust Lifestyle--an example

I saw this high-end customized Corvette at a charity car show on Labor Day weekend.

The gentleman who drives this Corvette understands that he doesn't really own his car--it sort of owns him.

--Cookie the Dog's Owner

Great Commercials--1984 GTI

UPDATE: We now have a full English translation of the jingle, courtesy of commenter "Bobster." Thank you!

In 1964, when California-style surf rock songs about hot cars were at their peak in popularity, Ronny & the Daytonas released "G.T.O.", a lively ode to the Pontiac musclecar that became a #1 hit. Twenty years later, Volkswagen "translated" the song into German for a spot advertising the Mk. I GTI:

Lotus 340R

One of the many ongoing themes here at Car Lust is cars that strip away all unnecessary features--as well as some necessary ones--in the continuing pursuit for the holy grail of weight minimization. As we've discussed here ad nauseum, weight is the enemy of driving excellence. It stunts acceleration, softens handling, decreases fuel economy, and increases the emission of pollutants.

The vicious weight cycle is hard to break. If the car is too heavy, it needs a bigger, more powerful engine; this addition of weight and inertia forces bigger brakes and a more robust suspension, which in turn increases weight while further impacting fuel economy and emissions.

On the other hand, pursuing the virtuous cycle of weight reduction can result in hugely compelling mighty mites like the Caterham Super Seven, Smart Roadster, Ariel Atom, and Vauxhall VX220--small giant-killers with exotic all-around performance without leviathan size, horsepower ratings, or prices. The Lotus 340R is very much of the same spirit.

Stutz Bearcat

One of my earliest objects of Car Lust was the co-star of one of my favorite TV shows.

There's a recurring character in American television which might be called "the free-lance troubleshooter." He (it's usually, but not always, a "he") may be a private detective, gunslinger, nomadic gambler, international man of mystery, reformed cat-burglar, itinerant martial arts instructor, laid-off secret agent, fugitive soldier of fortune, genetically-enhanced escapee from a mad scientist's lab, amnesia victim, or just some guy in a Corvette with lots of gas money. We follow this character (or group of characters) week after week as he solves people's problems with a combination of thrilling chase sequences, dramatic confrontations, clever improvised weapons, witty repartee, gunfire, fisticuffs, and/or large explosions. He may do it for the money, or out of generosity, or because he's chasing a long-term story arc, or just because he has nothing better to do.

My all-time favorite show of this type featured two stalwart men of action and their hot sports car, roaming the back roads of the great American West in search of problems to solve and things to blow up. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire ... the Bearcats!

The who?

Datsun 240Z

When the Datson 240Z was introduced in 1970, it hit the automotive world like a thunderclap--an impact dramatic, stunning, and with a report that reverberated for years. In the 1960s, with the notable exception of the Datsun 510, Japanese cars were popularly disregarded as disposable, cut-rate economy cars with the visceral excitement of a tube of toothpaste. They had difficulty cruising at American interstate speeds and were considered cars for people who couldn't afford a nice, big, beefy American car.

The 240Z changed all of that and ushered in a decade in which the Japanese were to emerge as force with which to be reckoned. With its long, sinuous lines, silky 2.4-liter inline six, fully independent suspension, front disc brakes, and lightweight two-seat hatchback body, the 240Z was a serious sports car that looked and performed like a 7/8-scale Jaguar E-Type at a fraction of the price and with superior reliability. Or, alternatively, the 240Z was as pretty and advanced as the Toyota 2000GT but actually available to the public at large.

1988-1991 Honda Prelude 4WS

About a year ago, I was searching for a car to replace my unloved 1992 Accord (AVOID), and I needed something reliable, relatively cheap, and easy on gas. Since I've had an extremely good experience with my 1989 Accord, I set out to find a Honda product that was made in that same time period.

Hondas of this vintage are cheap to run, reliable, and efficient, but what really makes them desirable is the fact that almost all models, from the base CRX to the larger Accord, have double-wishbone suspension.

While browsing the local classifieds, I came across a car that fulfilled all of my needs, fit within my budget, and shattered my expectations of just how good a small, older car could be.

1993 Porsche Boxster Concept

When the Porsche Boxster debuted in 1996, I felt like the only person in the world who wasn't exhilarated. It's not that I didn't think the Boxster was a terrific car. On the contrary, at its debut the Boxster was beautiful in design and execution, a redefinition of the open-topped sports car that combined the fun of a Mazda Miata or an MGB but with a much sharper performance edge. All of those things were and are true, and by any measure the Boxster is a fantastic car.

No, I was disappointed because my heart had already been claimed by the Boxster show car that debuted in 1993 at the Detroit Auto Show. Compared to that svelte knockout, the production Boxster felt like a milquetoast disappointment. At a glance the two cars look fairly similar, but the show car was just enough more sultry, just enough more edgy and daring than the elegant but straightforward production Boxster that the show car fired adrenaline while the Boxster merely provoked admiration. Slick, smooth, tightly wrapped, and with the air of the exotic, the concept Boxster recalled the Porsche 550 RS Spyder without obvious retro pandering.

Avanti

I saw my first Avanti one summer in the mid-1970s when I was 12 or 13. It must have belonged to someone who liked to golf, because it showed up at the local par-3 course at least once or twice a week. Standing out from the rococo "personal luxury" cars surrounding it, the clean-lined Avanti was a jet-age marvel that belonged in the driveway of the House of the Future.

I immediately wanted it.

In 1961, Studebaker's energetic new president, Sherwood Egbert, was working hard to turn the fading car-maker's fortunes around. He retained legendary designer Raymond Loewy to style a new "halo car" that would attract attention. Forty days later, Loewy’s team finished their design. They called it "Avanti," an Italian word meaning "forward," and what they had designed was certainly going to attract attention.

Chevrolet Corvette CERV III

I suppose it's inevitable that every car-crazed youngster will at some point fall in love with a Corvette show car. One generation fell in love with the Mako Shark, others became besotted with the XP882. I had the 1990 CERV III.

There's nothing obvious about the CERVIII that explains why it inspired me so. It is fundamentally just another futuristic show car replete with every conceivable electronic trick and gizmo--and like most completely unrealistic show cars, it had very little impact on its production counterparts. For me, though, it meant much more.

While I grew up with an innate love of Corvettes, that love was matched by a basic frustration. As powerful, sleek, and capable as Corvettes were, to me they symbolized a crippling lack of creativity. After the rapid innovation that characterized the Corvette's evolution from its debut as a cruiser in 1953 to a world-class sports car in the 1960s, America's sports car got stuck in a rut. Not in terms of capability, mind you--since the C4 Corvette debuted in 1984, Corvettes have consistently been fantastic all-around performers for the price. No, what bothers me is that Corvettes have been so formulaic.

Porsche 944

Submitted by Brian Miller

It’s nearly impossible to describe the Porsche 944 without comparing it to the Porsche 924. The 944 is very similar in design to the 924, but very different; in some ways, the opposite of the 924 in purpose. The 924 is a precisely balanced technical achievement--a fuel-efficient sports car with theoretically perfect handling. The 944 is a response to a marketplace demand for a 924 with more power and better brakes and more options.

If the 924 is a nerd, the 944 is a jock. If the 924 is technobeat, the 944 is new wave. If the 924 is punk, the 944 is goth. Where the 924 is a scientist, with an engine optimized for longevity and fuel efficiency, the 944 is an athlete. Those fender flares are the result of all those years working out at the gym, and the rear spoiler is the automotive equivalent of having your baseball cap on backwards.

Vauxhall VX220 Turbo

The name Vauxhall doesn't stir up any great excitement in the United States. For one thing, the cars aren't sold here and thus Vauxhall is not a household name. For another, Vauxhall isn't exactly exotic; it's simply the British branch of GM and has a long history of selling dull cars.

The Vauxhall VX220 Turbo is many things--impractical, cramped, and thrilling--but it certainly could not be called dull. The VX220 is a lightweight giant-killer for both the road and the track, meant to embarrass much more expensive Ferraris, Lamborghinis, and Porsches.

Car Lust--Chevrolet Corvette ZR-1

When Chevrolet first showed off its "King of the Hill" Corvette, the giant-killing Corvette ZR-1, in the late 1980s I went completely slack-jawed. The C4 Corvette was the prettiest Corvette since the early 1970s, a world-class handler, and an excellent sports cars. It was already an object of my lust; but the ZR-1 took things to the next level.

General Motors had acquired Lotus in 1986, amid fears that GM would dilute the Lotus flavor. On the contrary, GM used Lotus' expertise to fortify the Corvette. With the ZR-1, Chevy tossed out the trusty but antediluvian pushrod, two-valve-per-cylinder L98 V-8 with something just a tiny bit less primitive. The replacement LT5 engine shared the basic dimensions of the three-decade-old Chevy small-block V-8, but featured modern technology in the form of four valves per cylinder and a four overhead cams. At the time, four-valve-per-cylinder DOHC engines were typically small four-cylinders that needed the technology to help offset their diminutive displacement. Only the most exotic six- and eight-cylinder engines could boast those upgrades. Combining the fierce top-end power of 32 valves and four overhead cams with the low-end grunt of a 5.7-liter V-8 yielded a legendary result--massive output, excellent tractability, and bulletproof refinement.

Car Lust--Lamborghini Countach

Today there's a twin-pack, the first-ever Car Lust and Car Disgust for what is fundamentally the same car. Obviously this betrays some conflicted feelings on my part, but more than that, it shows how small changes can ruin the basic essence and appeal of a very compelling car.

Back in the dark ages of this blog, I raved about the Lamborghini Miura--one of the earliest of the true exotics, and still one of the most compelling supercars ever made. Its Marcello Gandini-penned organic lines had "a fierce beauty that broadcast [the Miura's] status as a feral predator of the road."

From the Miura's animal-like ferocity, Gandini and Lamborghini moved on to pure, malevolent, evil. The Lamborghini Countach first debuted in 1971 as a show car, leaving stunned reaction in its wake, and then went into production essentially unchanged in 1974, with a 4-liter V-12 armed with no fewer than six Weber carbs.