Car Lust

1976 Chevrolet Vega Cabriolet

cab·ri·o·let [ kàbbree ə láy ] noun: convertible automobile: a two-door convertible automobile

Egad! How else to begin a post on this poor little pretentious thing? The Vega never had the best reputation to start with, but to call this car a convertible when it had a full, fixed metal roof? C'mon now!

The sliding glass "Skyroof" was a new Vega option for this year, but it was not standard on the Cabriolet, which makes this car's name make even less sense. So if an automaker ever tried to insult the intelligence of the buying public, this example heads to the front of the line. Well, almost.

Chevrolet even took their cheapest Vega model, the Notchback (The Panel Express was dropped at the end of the 1975 model year), then decided to make it the luxury Vega, replacing the LX from the year before. This seemed to be an oxymoron--how could their entry-level car also be their most plush? Maybe the promise of a formal roofline? A slightly upgraded interior? Extra badges on the vinyl roof? They even renamed the lowly Notchback their "Sport Coupe" for the 1976 model.

GM EV1

Once again I find myself taking a little-traveled off-ramp to venture forth into limited-production car territory and have a look at an automobile that made a big splash but never quite made it into full production. The GM EV1 has engendered its share of fanatics, both pro and con, which makes it a bit different from the old Chrysler Turbine (though turbines in general still have their fans). The Turbine also didn't create its own mythos of evil corporate executives, pliant politicians, and heroically earnest C-list Hollywood celebrities in the years after its discontinuation.

I'm not sure if I'd call this missive a car lust exactly. I've always taken a rather cynical view of electric cars, having my early hopes for them continually dashed as the reality always failed to live up to the promise. It seems that practical electric cars are, like fusion power, always a few years away from becoming reality. We are constantly teased with promises of 200-mile ranges, only to see that drop to  the usual 50-70 when driven in real-world conditions when the driver has the temerity to turn on the radio or another electric accessory (Bad driver! No heat for you!). Or, alternatively the cars cost so much that only green-oriented megazillionaires can establish their Street-Green cred by driving 10 miles to the latest red carpet ceremony. 

Still, even though Chrysler's Turbine never had much hope for becoming a real-world product, it still interested me enough to write a post about it; and the same is true of the EV1. In a lot of ways, it was an engineering marvel, incorporating various technologies that have since become de rigueur in many models. In my view, it's not necessary for a concept or limited-production vehicle to go into actual production for it to be considered a success; if it does the job of proving the efficacy (or not) of certain technologies then it has performed its function well.

The Austin • Morris Mini and the MINI

How do you begin a post about a legendary car that changed history? A 50-year-old design that will last forever? One that has since been totally redesigned, yet still retains the flavor of the original?

Let's start by saying that the Mini was voted "Car of the Century" (Autocar magazine 1995), "European Car of the Century" in a worldwide internet poll run by the prestigious Global Automotive Elections Foundation in 1999, and, the same year, the "Second Most Influential Car of the 20th Century," only behind the Ford Model T. Wow! Quite an act to follow.

Folks all over the world have lusted for this tiny car for more than 50 years now. Virtually every front-wheel-drive vehicle made today owes its powertrain design to the Mini--a space-saving work of genius on several fronts. And getting better traction in bad weather is just an added bonus.

The revolutionary design came after the 1956 Suez Crisis, when fuel was rationed in Great Britain. Small "Bubble Cars" were being built throughout Europe, and their passengers' safety was, well, compromised at best. Leonard Lord, then head of the British Motor Corporation (BMC) reportedly decreed, "G*% D@$# these bloody awful Bubble Cars. We must drive them off the road by designing a proper miniature car."

And so they did. Sir Alec Issigonis headed the small team of Chris Kingham, two engineering students, four draftsmen, and Jack Daniels, who had worked with Sir Issigonis on the Morris Minor. To save development money, the team used a conventional BMC A-Series 4-cylinder water-cooled engine. But they parted from tradition by mounting it sideways, with the 4-speed transaxle located in the engine oil sump for lubrication. Constant-velocity joint driveshafts were used, invented by Hans Rzeppa and derived from submarines. This basic layout is the blueprint for almost every front-wheel-drive vehicle that's on the planet today. The 33-horsepower car could top out at 72 mph.

Colborne's $2,000 Used Car Challenge, Part 2--The Loaner '92 Corolla

Passivity is fatal to us.  Our goal is to make the enemy passive.
- Mao Tse-Tung

Like so many of the trials and tribulations inflicted upon my family by the accursed Malibu of Malebolge, it could not have died at a more inconvenient time. Though I'm a firm believer in hoping for the best and planning for the worst, there simply was no possible financial plan available to us that would allow us to buy two cars of reasonable quality only a year after the birth of our son. So we planned around a fairly reasonable hope--drive the Malibu into 2010, save up some money in the meantime, then get rid of the Malibu before it leaves somebody stranded at the side of the road.

It wasn't the most ill-conceived plan in the world, but it was pretty close.

2003-2007 Saturn Ion

On Sept. 30, 2009 GM announced that the sale of Saturn to Penske fell through and that the division would be phased out. In my opinion, despite the much better products that followed, the Saturn Ion dealt the death blow for the division.

GM borrowed the Saturn name from the Saturn V rockets that took Americans to the moon, winning the Space Race of the 1960s. GM had hoped the division would win the small car market; but instead it has folded up shop and headed home after 19 shaky years.

When Car and Driver reviewed the Ion in 2003, they said, "We waited seven years for this?" Actually, it was 12 years that we had been waiting for the first complete replacement for Saturn's SC, SC1, SC2, SL, SL1, SL2, SW1, and SW2 models.

Though the first generation cars seemed a step in the right direction for Saturn, they all had "The Flaw", which was the raspy, shaky, 4-cylinder engine made on-site in Spring Hill, Tenn., using the lost-foam casting process. They bragged about the fact that you could write your name in the foam, and the engine block would forever bear your signature, then you could display it when you made a coffee table, boat anchor, or what-not out of it in a few years.

Our Cars--2004 Scion xA

Submitted by Roy "Griff" Griffis for Our Cars Week

This 2004 Scion xA is the first brand-new car I ever bought, and it came standard with air conditioning and power windows. I have a daily round trip commute of more than 100 miles, and the car now has more than 192,000 miles. It has returned a steady 30 MPG.

I have kept it topped up on fluids, and the only issues with the car have been a few components wearing out-- the alternator, water pump, power steering pump, and rear wheel bearings  Other than the power steering pump, I was able to change the rest myself. Other than brakes and other regular maintenance activities, I’ve put maybe $1,500 into the car to keep it running that long.

It's a damn fine vehicle. It has lots of head room for a tall guy like me, and room to throw my bike in the back if needed.  In fact, at 250,000 miles, I’ll pass it on to my teenage son, and find myself another 2004 Scion xA with lower miles to drive. I know it’ll last me another good, long, dependable time.

--Roy "Griff" Griffis

Wabbit Season

"Shhh... be vewwy, vewwy quiet... I'm hunting wabbit! Hahahahahah!"

So said Elmer Fudd in the timeless Looney Tunes classic "Rabbit Fire". He finally finds his wabbit, and the exchange between Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck may just be the funniest dialogue ever set to cartoon:

Daffy: "It's Wabbit season!"

Bugs: "Duck season!"

Daffy: "Wabbit season!"

Bugs: "Duck season!"

Daffy: "Wabbit season!"

Bugs: "Duck season!!"

Daffy: "Wabbit season!!"

Bugs: (Reverses the flow) "Wabbit season!"

Daffy: "Duck season!!!"

Bugs: "Wabbit season!!!"

Daffy: "I say it's Duck season, and I say, FIRE!" •BOOM!• (Daffy gets it.)

          Daffy: "Let's try that again."

So what has this got to do with cars? Well, we all know the Volkswagen Rabbit. Which was the Golf before it became the Rabbit. Then it was the Golf. It became the Rabbit again. Now, once more, it's called the Golf. Still with us? Well, it looks like somebody has taken aim on the "Rabbit" name. Again. "Rabbit season!" "Golf season!" "Rabbit season!" "Golf season!" "Hahahahahah!"

Test Drive--Hyundai Accent

Some cars are proudly possessed of the stuff of pistonhead passion: raging horsepower, legendary handling, avant garde design, opulent luxury, noble pedigree, and engaging or even quirky personality.

Today's subject is not quite one of those cars. Today we are going to forgo our usual emphasis on speed, power, styling, passion, and all that and examine a car designed and built to be basic transportation with the accent (pun intended) on the "basic."

In other words, we're test driving a 2009 Hyundai Accent.

Besides giving us an excuse to go driving on a pleasant summer day, putting this little Hyundai through its paces presents us with a challenging series of philosophical questions: Does an inexpensive car also have to be a "cheap" and "chintzy" one? When a car's design is stripped down to the essentials, can it still be an object of Car Lust? What does our reaction to this most basic of rides tell us about ourselves? And, finally, can this paragraph possibly get any more pretentious?

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan--Plymouth Reliant

How we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life.

David Colborne: It's difficult to understate the importance of the Reliant. It single-handedly revived a moribund franchise, one which made some truly disastrous decisions in the late '70s. It made its parent brand interesting again--sure, the quality wasn't as high as some of the competition out there, and you could tell that the Reliant and its contemporary kin were put together on a budget, but it was still far better executed than anything that preceded it. It wasn't as slow, as heavy, nor as ponderous as its predecessors--in short, it proved that somebody finally got "it." Were it not for Reliant, the Star Trek movie franchise would have died, never to return.

Oh, you thought I was talking about the K-car, didn't you?

It was only the fact of my genetically engineered intellect that allowed us to survive.

Chris Hafner: In the early 1980s, two American institutions, the Chrysler Corporation and the Star Trek franchise, were teetering at the precipice of failure and irrelevance. Chrysler, perennially a distant third among the Big Three domestic car manufacturers, was on the verge of bankruptcy and had been forced into the indignity of groveling for its solvency in the form of loan guarantees from the federal government. The company badly needed a big hit to repay those loans and to assure its future.

Likewise, while Star Trek had created an enthusiastic fan following with the famous TV show and lightly-watched animation series in the late 1960s and early 1970s, by the beginning of the 1980s its future was in doubt. Based on the fan loyalty inspired by the original series, Paramount had spent $46 million to produce the 1979 film Star Trek: The Motion Picture. That movie, dubbed "The Motionless Picture" by the cruel and cynical, made money but was critically panned and sucked the energy out of the franchise. Given the cancellation of the original show after only three seasons and the relative lack of success of the animated series and the movie, the enthusiasm for more Star Trek appeared to be at a nadir. It would have been very logical to conclude that Star Trek was winding down its run.

As David intimates above, it was Reliant time. Chrysler's recovery depended on its 1981 launch of its pivotal K-car platform, represented most prominently by the Dodge Aries and Plymouth Reliant. Star Trek's ongoing relevance hinged on the success of the 1982 film Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, starring Chrysler pitchman Ricardo Montalban and his commandeered starship, the USS Reliant.*

Tata Nano

You knew this was coming. Is it gutless? You betcha. Is it cheap? Of course--it's designed to be the cheapest production car on the planet. Does it prove, like so many before it, that necessity truly is the mother of invention? Absolutely. 

So, Car Lust material? Well, yeah. I mean, c'mon - it even comes in hot pink! How lusty is that?

But wait - it gets better. As numerous news outlets are pointing out, Tata is planning on bringing this little bastion of affordable motoring to the United States. Naturally, this begs the question--will it follow the path laid down by the VW Beetle, burrowing a place into our automotive hearts, or will it simply rust out of our consciousness like the Citroen 2CV?