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Breaking News... Pontiac Is Coming BACK!

Pontiac-logoGM is on a comeback, folks. They almost pulled the sheet over this mega company a couple of years ago, but now there's revitalization and growth. Even the empty GM Assembly Plant near me in Spring Hill, Tennessee, formerly known as the Saturn plant, is revving up to build the Chevy Equinox (The Saturn VUE and Chevy Traverse have previously been built there), as well as a vehicle that hasn't been announced yet.

But the excitement about the return of Pontiac is overwhelming. And though this bombshell has not been announced publicly yet, I recently had the chance to talk with an "insider/consultant" from the plant that wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons... let's call him "Mr. X." The information he gave me was surprising to say the least, and the plan is so simple that it just seems so "right."

All I can say about him is that he's British, and it reflects in his words. And for what it's worth, "CL" is/are my initials, and does not stand for "Car Lust," though I guess it could. So after a while (And a few beers!), our conversation soon turned into something of an interview; this is pretty much how it went:

CL: Wait a minute... I am both shocked and amazed. GM is bringing back Pontiac!?!?

Mr. X: GM is growing again. They had to eliminate those divisions to survive. But now the loans are being paid off, GM is making money again, there's room to grow, and the void at GM is the lack of an exciting, affordable brand.

CL: Ummm... what cars will become Pontiacs... rebadged Chevrolets?

Pontiac BonnevilleMr. X: No. But obviously they can't tool up from scratch to launch an entire division, so Holden will supply most of the cars initially, but not all of them. GM/Holden has enough excellent vehicles already in the pipeline for the "new" Pontiac, so they won't be clones of existing American GM cars... remember that's been done, and it was done rather poorly.

There will be four unbelievably good models for the launch... the Bonneville, the Firebird, a small sports coupe/roadster, and something really rather unique.

CL: A Bonneville?

Mr. X: Yes, the new Bonneville will be the next- generation Commodore. Or perhaps rather more correctly, the next-generation Commodore will become the new Bonneville. So basically it will once again be a G8. But the pathetic "G" nomenclature is gone. They want to get back to Pontiac's roots and use traditional American names. Can you see the Firebird being called the G7? Rubbish!

Pontiac FirebirdCL: And so the Firebird returns!

Mr. X: Yes. Though it will be a similar car to the Camaro... but hasn't it always been?

CL: I noticed there's no compact car mentioned. Seems that's a big money maker and a hole in the lineup. Will there be something like the G3?

Mr. X: Please don't say that name, that execution went so quite badly wrong. But to answer your question, that's a crowded segment right now. There's the Civic, the Cruze, the Fusion, the Toyota Corolla... all superb cars... but they don't want to enter that segment without something really unique and good. So as soon as this comeback is formally announced, work will start on an astonishing all-new world-class versatile compact architecture... think Transit Connect meets BMW's 3-Series.

CL: Now that's BIG news!

Mr. X: Yes it is. The platform will be rear-wheel-drive with a proper fully-independant rear suspension. It's really a tremendous step forward for GM, and will be the basis for almost every GM compact car and truck. As a matter of fact, all new Pontiacs will be rear-wheel-drive or all-wheel-drive vehicles.

Pontiac FireflyCL: You said a small sports coupe/roadster. What's that going to be?

Mr. X: Well, the Smart Roadster Brabus is the first choice, and it may be called the Firefly. The car has been looking for a new home for years, possibly even to be sold in a division within a division, and that's how Pontiac will initially return. GM's done that before with some success with Opel and Geo as you recall, so this should come as no shock.

CL: Who will sell the new Pontiacs?

Mr. X: Buick. The GM powers-that-be see the proper recipe of Buick's formality, contrasted by Pontiac's "excitement" image, as a superlative balance for that division. But once the marque is firmly reestablished, say five or six years, then Pontiac will stand alone.

Pontiac Star ChiefCL: And there will be something really unique?

Mr. X: GM was within just days of announcing the Commodore Ute for sale in the States just before Pontiac was axed. Now they are finally going to get to do it. Brilliantly, it shares many components with the new Bonneville. And yes, it should become the El Camino after Pontiac sells it for two years. But first, they want the thrill to be all for Pontiac.

CL: And what would Pontiac name something like that?

Mr. X: Quite possibly the "Star Chief." They still own the rights to that name.

CL: After the excitement of Pontiac's return wears off, what will they do to keep the image level up?

Pontiac_Racing_logoMr. X: The GM brass wants to go international. No more NASCAR. There's talk about going back into racing... maybe Formula One, maybe not.

CL: Will there eventually be an image/racing-type car for Pontiac to sell?

Mr. X: Have you ever heard of a Pontiac Grand Prix?

I felt that I had spent enough time discussing the return of Pontiac with the gentleman, so subject matter turned to other things. But I could not wait to get to a keyboard and start this post. Days were spent getting it in order, and finally when I looked at the calendar, it was time to reveal that this is the first day of the fourth month, so now I must tell everybody... "April Fools!"

--That Car Guy (Chuck)

Image credits: The Pontiac logo is from AViewOfTheC.files.wordpress.com. The Bonneville wagon image is a Wikipedia image, reversed. The Pontiac Firebird image is from WebZoom.FreeWebs.com. The Firefly image is from Wikipedia. The Star Chief image is from Wikipedia. Pontiac's Racing logo is from WebZoom.FreeWebs.com.

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Ha Ha

You got the story wrong. It's Oldsmobile that's coming back. :-P

It's funny because it's a dead-on spoof of decades of GM execs talking out their backside. They'll talk-up a new platform as being world-beating, exciting, etc. Then they raise the curtain on the J2000! With an OHV engine proudly advertized on the front fender!

It brings back so many memories.

Lets see if you post this story again on say--April 3. Until then I'll hold my Pontiac powder on an April Fools Day story.

See, a lot of that actually makes sense to me: Bringing in a bunch of hot Holdens as Pontiacs.

Then again, there's a reason no one sells a Ute anymore. . . .

No kidding? I heard Studebaker and DeSoto were coming back too...

*Heart starts pumping when headline appears, though still skeptic*

*Blood pressure skyrockets at further reading, especially on how much sense it makes. Skepticism deminishes*

*Reminded of today's date*

*Profound sadness/anger*

*Withholds typing profanities in 2 languages*

So this is the feeling to what the AMC crowd felt in 2008, thanks to Hot Rod magazine:
http://www.hotrod.com/featuredvehicles/hrdp_0804_amc_concept_cars/viewall.html

What's missing... Oh yeah: *gets down on knees with fists in the air and yells "Pontiac"*


Dramatizations aside, I tip my new "'76 Firebird" cap at you, "CL" (lol). You most certainly got me.

That was great. But what a great idea for GM. I hope they were reading...

Remember the Pontiacs on "I dream of Jeannie"?

I got got. But if it ever happens for real, I'm in.

This is GREAT News! I hope G--d this is true.

you need to bring back a retro grand prix like the 1977 one

i hope you guys @ GM can bring back the Firebird i love that car

I have a 1999 Bonneville. it would be interesting to see what a new one would look like

Okay.. hope to god that pontiac comes back and my firebird and transam makes the modern sports cars look sick because sadly a 2002 pontiac firebirds engine is smaller than those of camaros and mustangs yet still own that year plus they were 3 x cheaper than those other cars (sadly cheaper yet so much more) and even still in 2013 the last of the transams are still wipping up the streets with the newer sports cars so a new pontiac firebird woould be absolutly devastating on the other sports car brans. This guy doesn't know what he's talking about, pontiac firebirds are not camaros and only became similar recently when gm wouldnt let the company create a monster engine like chevy because it was pointless and costly so they put the same stock engine components both vehicles and yes this is true because pontiac was the fastest and biggest engine makers in like 76 before hemi came out and that engine was the 6.6l that camaro didn't have because pontiac had its own engineers. And the firebird better not come back as a comaro or pontiac lovers will be sticking with our 2002s - 1969s and won't buy those junk cars. That's the pontiac vibe bro. Plus if I remember correctly the fastest passenger vehicle in the world is a 1983 pontiac firebird that in 4th gear went 277 setting the record and blew a valve before entering the last two gears.. comaros only wish. Youtube it if you don't believe me (fastest transam in world)

Personally I'll wait until theres a (GM North America) and (GM International) because GM by itself cares to much about the International market, and not enough for it's American consumers! Camaro can be an international brand, while making Pontiac and the Firebird a North American exsclusive model. IMO right now, bringing back Pontiac so soon would be a bad move. Wait until 2016 (When GM is no longer property of the US Government) or later when GM is able to handle new brands into its market. Will Pontiac come back? Yes! but not right now so soon.

Keep in mind that GM never sold Pontiac or Oldsmobile! That right there says something.

Is Pontiac coming back

Knew it was a FAKE interview... the person was saying ALL the good things we Pontiac fans WANT to hear.

Total poppycock... you have a better chance at seeing a Snuffleupagus walk down the street, than to see the 2nd coming of Pontiac.

Thanks for the blue-balls, pal.

Okay, we all KNOW Pontiac is as extinct as the dodo... why not FINALLY, bring Holden to the states.

Win-win situation, for GM and the consumer.

sure, I'd love to see it back as a novelty line. As more time passes the less of a change it has at coming back. :(

I would love to see a new Tran Am in the future. !!!

Great Idea as long as they don't overprice themselves out of the market and don't bring back chevy cloned Pontiacs

i hope they do open pontiac cause ive been going crazy cause they shut down i also love the 73 trans am and the 77 trans am from smokey and the bandit

Just about died when I read april fools... curse you CL, curses be unto you!! Considering im a Pontiac lover and die hard this whole post nearly made me piss my pants with excitement and merth... Sadly you got me, good one CL... Comeback Pontiac!!!

IM PISSED!!!!!

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