March 8 Weekly Open Thread - Suspicious Vans Edition
As always, this is the preferred repository for all the off-topic conversation that doesn't really fit anywhere else.
We tend to be van fans here in Car Lust country. I wrote a heated defense of minivans a few years ago in which I wrote that "popular culture is so anti-minivan today that driving one is so counter-culture, so in the face of popular biases, so keeping-it-real, that it's almost punk rock." A little later, as part of Inappropriately Named Chrysler Products week, I ran a piece both ridiculing and adoring the Dodge Sprinter. Cookie the Dog's Owner wrote a paean to his mini-mini-van Mazda 5, Big Chris and I debated the merits of the Volkswagen Vanagon Westfalia, and David Drucker wrote a scorching piece titled, "A Minivan is Better Than What You're Driving." Someday, I'll get around to putting into print the Custom Van Lust piece that has been rattling around in my head for the last few years.
So, given all that, it was with more than a usual level of interest that I learned of SuspiciousVans.com, which features, well, vans that are suspicious. Vans, of course, have a reputation of being frequently involved in shady activities of all kinds, and SV's gallery of entertaining and unsettling images of incredibly creepy vans shows that this reputation is pretty well-founded. SV's mission statement: "Leash your pets and small children; suspicious vans can be found in even the safest cities. From the rape-wagons to the intravenous-drug-use vans to the parked-out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere-for-no-reason VW buses, this site is an ode of respect, fear, and appreciation for them all."
That sounds like a worthy mission to me.
--Chris H.
Vie on March 08, 2010 at 09:18 AM
Heh, there's something you don't see too often over here any more - creepy vans. In the 90's you would see loads of old Ford Transits, Renault Trafics, Bedfords and the creepiest of all - white Ford Escort Vans - driving around in very creepy states of repair. But in the last decade they seem to have vanished for some reason.
That Car Guy on March 08, 2010 at 09:31 AM
I once heard about a guy that lived in a van, down by the river...
David Colborne on March 08, 2010 at 09:47 AM
My previous employer had a white Chevy fan that fit this particular mold to a tee. I loved driving that thing through school zones - the looks I'd get from worried parents were priceless.
Anthony Cagle on March 08, 2010 at 10:20 AM
One of these days I'm going to do a CL post on those 1970s vans with the little round convex windows in the corners, shag carpeting, mirrored ceilings, etc. on the interior (among other, errrrm, paraphernalia), and op-art painting all over the outside.We kidz were all mesmerized at the sort of illicit activities that must have gone on inside. Of course, I have since realized it was mostly just dirtbags smoking weed in them and feel no sense of loss.
...m... on March 08, 2010 at 11:19 AM
...you know what i loved most about those old full-sized vans?..
...well, at least the seventies/eighties era dodge vans, if my memory's correct, had this really cool mid-engine location which, whenever the carburettor would inevitably flood out, one could remove a center console panel to access from *inside* the van, never getting up from the front seats, and hold open the little breather valve in the middle of the air filter to start the motor to drive away...
...it's a silly thing, i know, but getting into the engine from inside the passenger compartment always made those vans feel like spaceships, myself playing the part of mister scott wrestling with the engine room to get all that she had to give...yeah, we found ways to have fun with seventies-era detroit iron unreliability back in high school...
Chris Mallow on March 08, 2010 at 12:50 PM
"Quadraphonic sound, water bed, and now a strobe light. Gentlemen, say hello to the Second-Base-Mobile. WICKED!!"
Cookie the Dog's Owner on March 08, 2010 at 01:21 PM
How about this: a 1970 Olds Vista Cruiser 2-door wagon:
http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/whats-wrong-with-this-picture-vista-bruiser-edition/
M. Report on March 08, 2010 at 04:13 PM
All the missing vans have been converted for use
in the most powerful car stereo competitions, the
ones where the system is started by remote control
from outside the van, because the sound levels inside
are lethal. :)
The only exception is the van used in the Cheech and Chong
movie: It is still rocking on. ;)
Little Miss Attila/Joy W. McCann on March 08, 2010 at 04:22 PM
I totally want one of those 1970s jobbies with the round windows and the inane painting of a sunset/surf scene on the side.
And, yes: must have shag carpeting, and a little dorm-room-sized fridge.
Wacky Hermit on March 08, 2010 at 04:45 PM
We named our 1991 Toyota Previa, which has over 400K miles on it, "The Prayermobile." Because when you put the key in you pray that it starts, and when you push on the brakes you pray that it stops. :)
Chuck on March 08, 2010 at 04:59 PM
Wacky, if your van was a 2010, you'd pray that it would stop when you put on the gas ;).
richard mcenroe on March 08, 2010 at 05:04 PM
The Van..."It's Fun Trucking...!"
richard mcenroe on March 08, 2010 at 05:04 PM
Sorry, bad link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpKzSQggeLU
Steve on March 08, 2010 at 05:08 PM
That purple van is creepy looking.
That Car Guy on March 08, 2010 at 05:51 PM
Richard, here's the song that goes (went?) along with your movie trailer:
http://popup.lala.com/popup/937030201852862560
backintheday on March 08, 2010 at 08:28 PM
Where's the "Dude, we were installing these speakers and they accidentally gave us 2 extra, and we'll let you have them for $100" van? Must be one of the white ones.
Jesda on March 08, 2010 at 09:37 PM
I know the owner of THE candy van, the one pictured above. It was done in shoe polish by some pranksters at a high school in Spokane WA.
Jesda on March 08, 2010 at 09:37 PM
Oh and his name is Bo.
Alan Schwarz on March 09, 2010 at 11:28 PM
I just recently moved to Lake Elsinore and bought a 1994 Chevy Van30 1 Ton with a 454 big block for the move.Gas mileage is SHOCKING.
With the arrest of a local man just 2miles from my house in connection with the murder of a teen girl in San Diego,It turns out he also drove a white van.I'm now eager to sell it because I get tailed by cops wherever I go in town.
OldCarGuy on March 10, 2010 at 04:42 AM
In the early '90s I worked for a construction company that had some old iron (pickups and vans) in the yard for spares. On several occasions I drove a particularly beat up white Chevy van, the kind with no side windows. I had a full beard then, and with dark sunglasses on I had more than one friend say that I looked like a "dealer." Even a friend who was a cop told me that he did a double take when he saw me in it. Thereafter everyone referred to that van as the Drug Van.
richard mcenroe on March 10, 2010 at 07:53 AM
"Dude, you don't have any handcuffs, chloroform or duct tape? Why do you even OWN a van?"
jjd241 on March 10, 2010 at 08:47 PM
http://www.entertonement.com/clips/rpzsjhdzwn--Van-by-the-riverSaturday-Night-Live-Chris-Farley-
Chris Meirose on March 14, 2010 at 02:18 PM
Jordan,
The Terms of Use link at the bottom will get you Amazon.com's copyright (and I've copied it below) - and by the looks of it I don't think they will budge to allow you to use the stuff from here. They own all the content.
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tigerstrypes on March 19, 2010 at 06:01 PM
What, no fanboy vans? What a shame.
Check this out!
http://www.imcdb.org/vehicle_226567-Chevrolet-Chevy-Van-1984.html