4 SALE - CHEAP
This 1979 Dodge Magnum XE--the Dodge equivalent of Ricardo Montalban's B-platform Chrysler Cordoba--has been sitting in a parking lot on West Market Street in Akron for several months, with a for-sale sign on the dash and a suggested retail price on the windshield.
I hope the seller is willing to negotiate, because $1,950 seems wildly optimistic, considering that the car is probably a four-wheeled financial black hole. The trouble starts with the deteriorated paint, the bondo-and-primer job on the door, and the prominent cracks in the soft Corinthian leather seats. At the very least, it will need new upholstery, some significant body repair, and a new paint job before it starts to look presentable. Under the hood, you will likely find a smogified 318 V-8 with the infamous "Lean Burn" spark control computer--not one of Chrysler's better engineering ideas. Figure on some serious bucks to replace the fragile and inefficient Lean Burn with an ignition system that works--along with all the other mechanical gremlins you are likely to find on a thirty-year old car that wasn't all that well put together to begin with.
Even if you restored it to better condition than the day it left Windsor, Ontario, it would still be a soft, mushy, oversized, underpowered "personal luxury" car of a type they thankfully don't make any more. There is no rational reason to restore a car like this.
So why does a part of me want to go back and copy down the seller's phone number off the sign on the dash?
--Cookie the Dog's Owner
Steaming Pile on November 04, 2009 at 12:16 PM
OMFG, that car is so chock full of fail. Just putting a decent paint job on it would cost more than the car is worth.
Disco Stu on November 04, 2009 at 12:19 PM
Because Bobbie Joe Long is your idol.
That Car Guy on November 04, 2009 at 12:34 PM
Where's "Cash For Clunkers II" when you need it?
Paul C. Perkins on November 04, 2009 at 01:08 PM
You were dropped on your head as a chld - repeatedly?
Rob on November 04, 2009 at 01:12 PM
Apart from the hideous front end.... the fenders have some nice style to them. But honestly yeah this thing is worth $750 max, if it drives alright (which it probably doesn't).
TurboDave on November 04, 2009 at 02:53 PM
You may need medical attention if that part of you continues to desire such a, well, such a......piece.
David Colborne on November 04, 2009 at 03:46 PM
The front end on it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I've seen some old Magnum ads and I thought they were hideous. That angle actually shows the front end makes a small measure of sense.
Emphasis on "small", though.
That said... $2k for THAT?! Are they high? I wouldn't even pay $1950 for a Honda Accord that looked like that, much less a 30+-year-old Dodge. I mean, that's just utter madness right there. If the engine was in good condition and the interior was still clean (delusional insanity on both counts), it MIGHT be worth $1000.
John B on November 04, 2009 at 04:03 PM
Years ago at a high school reunion, I ran into an old friend who I hadn't seen for several years...since our last reunion.
I asked him if he still had his Magnum.
Yes, he replied saying that all the other captains at his Army post drove BMWs and sports cars and they kidded him about his "tank".
It's really bad bad when tank drivers call your car a tank.
Anthony Cagle on November 04, 2009 at 04:26 PM
That car always kind of seemed like it just missed being decent looking. I mean, I like the big aggressive front end but then it just seems stuck onto the front of a Cordoba (which it seems it was).
That said, if I were filthy rich I would totally buy it and restore it. Modify the engine to have some decent oomph and it would rock.
J Smith on November 04, 2009 at 04:48 PM
Oy! That thing wasn't worth $1950 during the Reagan administration. $500 max. BUT--if it were $500, I'd be sorely tempted. In short, I understand your plight. It's hard not to have a little bit of bittersweet love for the poor Magnum--it's headed to the crusher sometime in the next few years. Hopefully someone will get a little enjoyment out of it. Just not at $1950.
CJinSD on November 04, 2009 at 06:31 PM
Dog dish hubcaps and T-tops? All it needs is some glass packs, and it is perfection.
Yankee on November 04, 2009 at 06:57 PM
Call me crazy, but I've always had a soft spot for those old Maggies (Magnums), and even their Mirada successors. Sure these cars have no real redeeming collector or social value and get no respect... but I still like 'em.
This particular example, however... even though it has the interesting (and rare) T-top option, unless the car was very well taken care of (which this one obviously wasn't), they're also gonna cause a host of problems. The police-issue hubcaps look kinda cool, but if I were to restore it I'd get rid of them.
It'd be nice if someone took the time and money to restore this... but I don't really see that happening.
Mike on November 04, 2009 at 07:55 PM
That car is far better looking than anything designed in the last 10 years. It's a shame cars like this aren't built any more.. now we get Nissan Cubes and Toyota Highlanders. FUGLY, and in 30 years, who's gonna care about them? Disposable junk.
Now, this Magnum represents everything good about a better age. No gay-ification, whatsoever. A car like this will never be built again, because our society is too sissified and coddled. If I had the $$$ this thing would be restored inside-out, then painted flat black, straight-piped and keep the cop-issue hubcaps, with the rear end jacked up a little. Drive it hard, then park it.. next to a Prius, the Magnum smelling of gas, hot rubber and overheated brakes and laugh at what we've become.
Cars like this beast have soul.
Tommy's Dad on November 05, 2009 at 12:16 AM
Isn't the price limit for a 24 Hours of LeMons car $500? Just askin'. I would LOVE to see something like this stripped down to a roll cage, a seat, and a steering wheel. No emissions controls, no goofy Lean Burn, just stuff the biggest engine you can get into the thing and let it roar down the track (or waddle, you know, whatever).
Honestly though I do love the big square jaw front of this beast. Most modern cars just can't do the giant mega-grill thing very well. This, on the other hand, does it perfectly. In a way, it almost looks Mercedes-ish. Bigger, more bloated, sure, but there's a certain resemblance, especially if you're borderline deliriously sick like I am right now.
Steaming Pile on November 05, 2009 at 05:58 AM
@yankee - Maybe you can get Xhibit to pimp it out for you.
Brian on November 05, 2009 at 12:12 PM
Ahhh.. The Dodge Magnum... It was my "first" car. I think mine was a '78 though. It had the 4 barrel 360 and it would get up and go if you wanted it to. It was painted office cubicle grey as much as I remember.
I can testify to the "tank-like" behavior, when my 14year old brother drove it through the garage wall (made of stone!) while on a joy ride. Busted the windshield and the hood but that was about it.
Oh and mine didn't have air-conditioning....
Good times, good times.
JEM on November 05, 2009 at 12:18 PM
It's a bumper-car, one of the 'tween-years cars.
Until the late '50s or early '60s there was innovation in Detroit. In the early '60s the innovation slowed and the focus changed to design. By the early '70s Detroit had been beaten down by government and by the first oil crisis and there was neither competent engineering nor competent design being done there any longer.
You had basically a decade of hibernation, from the early '70s until the early '80s, an era of minimal, patchwork engineering (done mainly to meet smog requirements, let's all remember the 160HP Chevy 350s of the late '70s), utter failure of quality control (the '60s weren't good, but the '70s and early '80s were worse), loss of design direction (even the best, like the '77 GM B-cars, were compromised by the massive 5mph bumpers) and a lot of bad decisions about future product direction (like GM's stampede to wrong-wheel drive across the company.)
It wasn't until the early '80s that Detroit showed some signs of life again.
Cnation on November 05, 2009 at 12:18 PM
I've always thought a car like this would make an unbelievably sneaky and oddball-cool hotrod. Of course, that would take the premise of restoring it to its former 318-powered mushy-suspension and 27 and a half turns lock-to-lock glory right out the window.
Think port-injected small block Chevy motor, ZF 6 speed tranny, Ford 9 inch rear, Recaros and about 90 coats of the darkest, glossiest black paint on the planet.....
-Cnation
Chris Hafner on November 05, 2009 at 12:22 PM
It's hard for me to avoid loving this car--no doubt another manifestation of my bad-car mania.
We featured the Magnum in the Poseur Muscle Car series, which features some broken image links and the original commercial:
http://www.carlustblog.com/2007/09/dodge-magnum-xe.html
We followed up with a video of a pristine verison for sale--a version that looks infinitely nicer than this ridiculously priced example:
http://www.carlustblog.com/2008/05/random-dodge-ma.html
JEM on November 05, 2009 at 12:26 PM
Cnation - actually, I've had thoughts in that direction regarding a '75 Nova, a highly underrated and very useful car. Almost had my hands on a decently rustfree 9C1 cop Nova once. I'm in California, so it would *have* to be a '75. Too many other projects first...
JakeGint on November 05, 2009 at 12:32 PM
"Cop tires, Cop engine, Cop suspension...."
Just Me on November 05, 2009 at 12:37 PM
Maybe they mean $19.50?
DensityDuck on November 05, 2009 at 12:41 PM
You're thinking of buying this because it's your personal act of contrition for buying all those super-awesome cars. You'll buy this ugly duckling and give it a happy home to make up for all those other poor rustbucket junkers that you turn your nose up at.
It's like a carbon offset. It doesn't actually DO anything, but you mentally justify your consumption by purchasing it.
Sarge on November 05, 2009 at 01:05 PM
"There is no rational reason to restore a car like this."
Unless you want a car that looks like the original Cylons!
John Bono on November 05, 2009 at 01:13 PM
Let me be the contrarian voice here. It looks like there isn't much rust, and I'm assuming it will pass inspection. Any car that passes inspection is with a couple of grand. There are rolling chassis that sell for more than this.