Car Lust

Our Cars--"Auto-Biography" of a Hotrodder

Submitted by Iowahawk for Our Cars Week

When Car Lust asked readers for personal stories about "that" car, it was difficult for me to narrow it down. Truth is, I have an emotional attachment to every car I've owned. Even cars I haven't owned. At eight I cried when my dad sold the old Chevy 3100 farm truck that my grandpa bought new in '51. Even cars that weren't really cars. My childhood Sears go kart, Honda Trail Z50 and Honda SL125 occupy every bit an honored place in my memory as any of my cars, and I still get a rush whenever I see one.

But on to the cars: First was this '69 Chevelle, which I bought at 14 with hay baling money and windfall 4-H pig profits. By the time I had a valid drivers license I had added air shocks, headers, a Holley 4bbl carburetor, the fat Mickey M60s on Cragar S/S wheels. With a wheezy 307 and Powerglide it was easy pickings for the the big cube muscle cars that dominated the Dazed & Confused parking lot at my rural Iowa high school. But it was popular with the girls, and was the site of my first "meaningful experience."

Our Cars--Volkswagen GTI Mk. V

It's a quarter after seven on a late August morning. There's a light fog with the promise of a sunny day later. Tom Petty's "Refugee" is playing on the car stereo, and all is right with the world. 

I brake the GTI to a stop at the intersection. There's no traffic coming from the left, and nothing but open two-lane road to the right.

Let's turn it loose.

Ease off the clutch, make the turn, and then hammer the gas pedal.

Yeah, but, it don't really matter to me, baby . . . 

The turbo sings high harmony to the race-car melody coming from under the hood. We're up over five grand on the tach almost before I know it; clutch in, second gear.

Everybody has to fight to be free . . . 

Up to third gear now.

You see you don't! Have!

Fourth gear. Yee-haw!

To live like a refugee!

At this point I'm howling along at a speed that's a bit north of prudent for this road, and there's some traffic ahead. Best exercise some restraint. Put it in sixth, back off the throttle, and let the speed bleed off. 

(Don't have to live like a refugee)

Do I like my GTI? Oh, yeah. I like it. A lot.

Aug. 31 Weekly Open Thread

As usual, this thread is the place for all random conversation that doesn't fit anywhere else.

The open Our Cars posts will start going up this week, so this is the right place to discuss any current events or breaking new. If you have a story about your own car to contribute, please submit it at carlustinfo@amazon.com.

--Chris H.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home--Ford Probe

We are going to attempt ... time travel.

I am painfully aware of the fact that it has now been more than one month since the last entry in the Star Trek cars series--my attempt to tie the Hyundai Genesis sports coupe to Star Trek III. I deeply regret the delay--if I could get this post up earlier by taking a Klingon Bird of Prey around a local star to initiate time warp, I would.

A joke... is a story with a humorous climax.

Following the somber (though excellent) space opera of the previous two movies, filled with poignant losses, space battles, and themes of mortality, Star Trek went in a much more light-hearted and mainstream direction with Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. Or, as most people remember it, the one with the whales.

STIV might have proved a dramatic change of pace from the earlier movies, but it was still clearly Star Trek--its time-travel plot and goofy, cheerful energy captured the appeal of the original TV series. STIV didn't feature a clear-cut villain, or hyper-kinetic space battles, but its willingness to poke some fun at itself and its characters proved to be a powerful breath of air for the franchise.

Kirk didn't spend the movie locked in a struggle to the death with a super-villain; intead, he was struggling to properly incorporate "colorful metaphors" into his speech. Chekov wasn't under the thrall of a brain-sucking parasite; he was frantically searching for "nuclear wessels" and getting called a "Rooskie" (and worse) by a bemused Navy interrogator. Spock wasn't enduring death and resurrection; he was mind-melding with whales, silencing punk-rockers and being referred to as having done "too much LDS."

This combination of fish-out-of-water humor and the characters' natural chemistry proved a powerful elixir--STIV was a crossover hit and a box-office smash, and the mainstream success of the film helped launch the Star Trek: The Next Generation TV show. Perhaps the most telling indicator of its appeal is that STIV is the only Star Trek film that my wife will even consider watching with me.

24 Hours of LeMons Recap--the Fiat X1/9 Perspective

I have a checkered past with the Fiat X1/9--as checkered, in fact, as is possible with a relationship that is limited to lusting and blogging. You see, I wrote a post about the X1/9 back in 2007 in which I detailed both the high points of the car (its gorgeous designer looks and nimble handling) and the low points (slow straight-line performance and dubious durability reputation).

In July of last year, the fine folks at Xweb, an online X1/9 community, stumbled across that post. They quickly registered the criticisms I made of their beloved Italian wedge and expressed a range of emotions ranging between bemusement and righteous indignation. I was startled by the response and headed over to Xweb to try to clear things up. My explanatory post was fairly well-received by most Xwebians, with one exception--Bernice, who described herself as "the lioness that ends up biting you on what you wrote about the X1/9." Bernice, quite simply, brought the pain.

Well, as it turns out, Bernice and some other X1/9 fanatics entered a X1/9 in this year's 24 Hours of LeMons--a hilarious and surprisingly intense 24-hour endurance race contested by beaters worth $500 or less. In short, just like the similarly named Concours d'LeMons, a Car Lust-type of event. If you're still doubtful of the weirdness quotient present here, consider that this race was won by a 1984 Volvo 244.

Bernice and her fellow X1/9 fans entered under the name Italian Stallions Racing, and they dubbed their X1/9 The Flyin' Spaghetti Monster. In an attempt to bury the hatchet with this fine protectoress of origami Italian sports cars, I present to you a recap of the 24 Hours of LeMons, as told by Bernice. For more comprehensive coverage of the 24 Hours of LeMons, check out Jalopnik or any of the sources here at the official site.

The Car Lust Birthday Challenge

As of today, Car Lust is two years old. As we roll into our "terrible twos" in top gear, with the tach needle firmly in the powerband, I'd like to ask our readers how we're doing so far. Hit the comments box and tell us:

• What's your favorite "Car Lust" post so far--that is, one that celebrates the glories of a particular automobile?
• What's your favorite "Car Disgust" so far?
• What's your favorite article that isn't a Lust or Disgust? (I'm referring here to editorials and roundtables.)
• Often our reader comments are at least as entertaining as the articles, so are there any reader comments that you consider particularly memorable?

We look forward to your responses.

--Cookie the Dog's Owner

Concours d'LeMons Recap

I'm not sure if this comes through in my posts, but generally speaking I'm not particularly easy to perturb. I try to be a cheerful, happy person who rolls with the punches and makes delicious, refreshing lemonade out of life's metaphorical lemons. Unfortunately, as a Crystal Lite devotee, I very rarely make lemonade out of actual lemons--but I suppose one could argue that this blog is little more than a celebration of lemons of the automotive variety.

Anyway, I digress. My point is that my usually sanguine disposition was tested in a significant way a month or so ago when I realized I would not be able to attend a certain car show. You see, it wasn't just any car show; it was the Concours d'LeMons, a car show "celebrating the oddball, mundane and truly awful of the automotive world." In short, a Car Lust kind of car show, an event ripped from my abjectly unhealthy automotive subconscious. And, of course, I couldn't make it.

Had I been granted a violent evening thunderstorm for effect, I would have rushed out into the pelting rain, sunk to my knees, and raised my fists to the lightning-streaked heavens, screaming, "Why? WHY?" But, since it was a bright and cheery sunlit afternoon, I simply sighed and tried to find somebody who could write the event up for Car Lust could provide us a write-up.

That person is Todd Fitch, and his Car Lust credentials are solid--he just sold a hearse and is buying a 1980s Bentley as a daily driver.

More great photos and coverage from event are available at Jalopnik and Autoblog.

Our Cars Week, Redux

It's Car Lust ... but now it's personal! And now ... it's back!

Last March, we ran the first inaugural Our Cars event, in which readers shared their lust for their own cars. The result was amazing--quite possibly the best stretch of content ever to grace this blog, filled with unique cars and touching stories. And now, we're ready for a repeat.

Originally intended to break up my tiresome domination of this blog's content, Our Cars is a feature that showcases readers' cars in their own words. These aren't the unattainable exotics that exist seemingly only on the pages of car magazines; no, these are the cars that are meaningful because they actually exist in a relevant way. They are meaningful for us--the cars that we grew up with, we live with, and that we mourn once they're gone.

So, in the next few weeks--when we start will depend on the response--please feel free to e-mail me a post on a special (or despicable) cars in your life. This can be a car that you own now or have owned previously; or even a car that you drove frequently but didn't own, such as your parents' car or a company car. Regardless, this should be more about one specific car than a type of car--in other words, a beloved gray 1983 Chevy Malibu Wagon, not all 1983 Malibus. Short or long, well-written or not, it doesn't matter as as long as it's from the heart. And if you can submit some photos of the car in question, so much the better.

As before, I can't wait to see what you all come up with.

Update: Of course, I forgot to disclose how you should submit your post. Please e-mail your post and photos to carlustinfo@amazon.com.

--Chris H.

Aug. 24 Weekly Open Thread

As usual, this is the thread in which you are free to discuss anything you like--within our usual comment guidelines, of course.

Some suggested topics and miscellaneous (and, for the most part, irrelevant) notes:

- Cookie The Dog's Owner recommends The Truth About Cars' editorial series "How GM Tried to Win Me Over." (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)

- Spotted at Instapundit, here's a vehicle that fights crime even while sitting silent and abandoned.

- From Autoblog, perhaps the saddest impact of the down economy and the drive for more efficient cars--the newest small Ferrari, with a punchless four-cylinder engine.

- I spotted a customized AMC Concord this weekend that, frankly, made my day. It was red, with a big black air dam and spoiler combination nicely complementing the black vinyl roof. For the life of me, I can't think of a less likely car to customize, or a less likely set of modifications. Then, a few minutes later, I saw a Ford Grenada in perfect condition with some kickin' rims.

Old Impalas have been trendy for years, but if the nation's youth is now pimping Concords and Grenadas, of all things, I'm not sure whether to be elated or despondent.

--Chris H.

"The Beverly Hillbillies" and their Truck

Jed Clampett may have once said, "Wellllll, doggies! Done looks like Jethro is gone to bein' a double naught spy. He's commenced to puttin' a pair of Granny's shotguns on the back o' the truck with a pull string fer reemote control, thowed a spring under my seat so's he can eeject them bad guys off'n the truck, and went and sprung-loaded a warsh tub over the driver's place so's he can ricochet off any o' them furrin' agents' bullets. He went and got him the pot bellied stove from the cabin out back to make up a big smoke screen, and done used some jugs filled with possum oil to make a slick spot to spin off them cars when he's being chased. Now he's fixin' to use the seement pond to test some sort of undeewater submarine shenanigans. Ya know, one o' these days, I gotta have a loooong talk with that boy."

Jethro's days as a secret agent may have been limited, but the appeal for "The Beverly Hillbillies" is not. Premiering on Sept. 26, 1962, the first episode was seen by few but advertised by many. The fortunate ones that saw the premiere could not wait to tell their friends what they had just seen, and the show became an overnight phenomenon, eventually capturing 8 of the 20 most-watched TV episodes of all time, eclipsed only by the final episode of M*A*S*H, "Dallas" (Who shot J.R.), the final episode of "The Fugitive", and "The Ed Sullivan Show" when he had on some long-haired quartet from Liverpool. Over 36 million people saw the second show; no other program has reached number one as fast (This is older information; the last episode of "Seinfeld" and others may have topped some of these). The show was number one all of 1963, and was in the top 20 ratings all nine years of its run. English teachers across the country literally pulled their hair out when people started talking like the Clampetts, though I'm not sure how many of Granny's "vittles" recipes caught on.