If Car Lust wrote Star Trek scripts ...
As David Colborne noted this morning, we're going to be geeking out in the next week and featuring a string of cars with highly pun-ny Star Trek associations. As odd as this theme is, it shouldn't come as much of a surprise. After all, our baked-in Trekkie leanings were on full display in the Ricardo Montalban and Chrysler Cordoba posts; one of my favorite pieces of content ever featured on Car Lust is the USS Cordoba video from the latter piece. Besides, Car Lust tends to manifest itself as vehicle lust--is there any vehicle more sublimely lustable than the original USS Enterprise?
We had a lot of fun tying these cars to Star Trek movies, and so in the process of unveiling our subjects for the next week I'd like to share our thought process on Star Trek movies, Car Lust-style.
Now, I'm fully cognizant of the fact that the cross-section of humanity that both reads Car Lust and appreciates Star Trek puns consists of roughly 11 people. For the rest of our readership, the sane folks, I'd recommend skipping the rest of this post and its baked-in geekness.
This bizarre but compelling Star Trek-themed Enterprise Rent-a-Car image comes from Upgrade Travel Better.com. Oh, and just for the heck of it, here's the USS Cordoba video again.
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Car: Plymouth Voyager
Plot Summary: Voyager was one of Earth's first minivans; after decades spent hauling families around and receiving no respect from hipsters, it became self-aware, hostile to human "carbon units" and began searching for its creator. Unfortunately, upon finding its creator, Voyager was disappointed to discover that Lee Iacocca was a carbon unit himself--a carbon unit infestation that needed to be destroyed.
---
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
Car: Plymouth Reliant
Key Moment:
SECURITY GUARD: "Mr. Iacocca? There's a car approaching our gates, closing fast!"
LEE IACOCCA: "What do you make of her?"
SECURITY GUARD: "It's one of ours, sir. It's a Reliant."
---
Star Trek III: The Search For Spock
Car: Hyundai Genesis
Plot Summary: Hyundai has a revolutionary project on its hands--a new sports coupe that can take a dead, non-existent performance reputation and transform it into living, breathing, relevance. To paraphrase Dr. Carol Marcus, the Genesis is, simply put, speed ... from speedlesness.
Key Moment: Unfortunately, the project hits some internal resistance ...
HYUNDAI EXECUTIVE: "Genesis allowed is not! Is sports coupe forbidden!"
---
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
Car: Ford Probe
Plot Summary: It is the mid-1980s, and Ford has largely replaced its line of huge, behemoth sedans with small cars. Unbeknownst to the company, however, a Probe is on the way to investigate the sudden disappearance of the huge land whales (bear with me here). Ford frantically tries to find some of the extinct leviathans to satisfy the Probe ...
Key Moments:
FORD DEALERSHIP OWNER: "It appears to be a Probe, of an intelligence unknown to us!"
FORD VP: "You're proposing that we go backwards in time, find an LTD and some Galaxies, then bring them forward in time, drop 'em off, and hope they tell this Probe what to do with itself?!"
ALAN MULALLY: "That's the general idea."
FORD VP: "Well, that's crazy!"
---
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
Car: Nissan Frontier
Key Quote: "What does God need with a pickup truck?"
---
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
Car: Renault Alliance
Plot Summary: AMC finds itself fighting to survive following the tragic AMC Pacer disaster; meanwhile, its bitter rival Renault (again, bear with me) attempts to reconcile cultural differences in its decision whether to form an, uh, Alliance with the stricken company.
Key Moment:
RENAULT VP: "There is a historic opportunity here, to rebrand Renault products as AMCs."
RENAULT CEO: "AMC? They're animals."
RENAULT VP: "They'll die if we don't help them."
RENAULT CEO: "Let them die!"
--Chris H.
John B on July 09, 2009 at 06:52 AM
Yes, I like cars and I fondly recall the original Star Trek series and films..so count me as one of the 11.
I never did watch or get into the later stuff...the trouble with being an adult, you don't have that much time to devote to a fictional future...
Loved the Cordoba ad.
That Car Guy on July 09, 2009 at 07:51 AM
Whoever put that 'Cordoba' ad together is a GENIUS!!! Really well done!
David Colborne on July 09, 2009 at 09:21 AM
Chris, if we do this right, it will be forever known as the moment that Car Lust officially jumped the shark.
Hyundai is doing what it does best - turn performance death into a fighting chance for life.
Jen on July 10, 2009 at 12:14 PM
This is the best idea -- I'm so excited. Maybe there are more of us out there than you think! The Plymouth post made my morning.