Angry Cars--2005-2008 Audi A4

Car: 2005-2008 Audi A4

Condition: Angry

Possible Motivation: Perhaps the car is angry that its once-elegant nose was replaced by a massive, gaping black schnozz? Insecurity about one's looks can often breed great anger.

Defining Overblown High-Testosterone Action Movie Quote:
Audi A4: You have the right to remain unconscious. Anything you say ain't gonna be much.
(from Lethal Weapon 3)

Photo Courtesy Of: Flickr user Autodetailer

--Chris H.

Comments

[Cookie the Dog's Owner on September 24, 2008 at 10:16 AM]

The Audi-style "schnozz" is the only thing I don't like about my '08 GTI. If they'd only made the crossbar body color instead of black, it wouldn't look so bad.

[Rob the SVX guy on September 24, 2008 at 10:26 AM]

Cookie, that can easily be fixed. Go to a local autobody place, look up your paint code, get it in a spray can. Then remove your schnozz, clean it well, wipe it down with alcohol, and spray. Reinstall.

[Mochi Mochi on September 24, 2008 at 12:35 PM]

That would be a nice mod to the GTI. An inexpensive one too.

I don't get where this trend in new cars is coming from to adopt a huge overly pronounced or gaping grills... the "schnozz" look. Even the Accord that has had such a refined front end now has an ugly little schnozz.

Interesting the way the pendulum swings - there was a time... not so long ago... when cars did not have "grills". They were concealed or made incredibly modest. My Si for instance has what could be classified as a cooling and intake duct modestly and discretely placed below the bumper.

I'm just wondering... why. There's no functional benefit to having an enormous schnozz... so why does the styling trend exist. Could it originate from some kind of "insecurity" originating with the stylist? like "my overall styling is somehow not special enough... and I need to make the car stand out with this enormous maw."

[isitacrossfromchris on September 24, 2008 at 12:55 PM]

It's a cost savings measure. Audi saved big bucks by eliminating the two chrome border strips on the upper and lower portions of the grille.

[Rob the SVX guy on September 24, 2008 at 05:14 PM]

Mochi: No personal opinion of a stylist would warrant such a move. Every car is approved by marketing for a reason, to approve to a target demographic. I'd say it's a billion factors, but all can be summed up by people want to appear aggressive to others. This is why SUVs are popular, why musclecars are made 'sinister' and not 'fun', and would explain the large grill trend. It makes cars look faster, more performance oriented, more badass. etc.

[Smoke_Jaguar4 on September 25, 2008 at 11:28 AM]

Car styling is cyclical and is tied to the economy.
During booms, people want their cars to express their wealth. Thus cars become larger, heavier, more powerful, 'angrier'. When there's a downturn, priorities change. People now focus on the basics, efficiency, less weight and better aerodynamics. In other words, they’re 'happier'.

Right now were in the middle of one of these changes. Compare this Audi against the nearly prophylactic Audi 80/90 from the 1980’s. I’d bet the next one will be smaller, lighter, and more aerodynamic.

[arminius on September 25, 2008 at 01:52 PM]

The new Mazda 6 also looks just as angry, if not more so. It shows especially if you look at it directly from the front. The first time I saw it at the dealer I thought, Wow, that is One Pissed Off Car.

[alex on September 25, 2008 at 01:59 PM]

Your initial description of a big "black schnozz" leading to "insecurity" and "anger" has racial overtones.

Rewrite recommended.

[sigh on September 25, 2008 at 02:10 PM]

You're right Alex. It's so insensitive! Let's use the Spanish word instead and call it a negro schnozz. Or are you saying the schnozz isn't black? What term for the color black would you prefer? I eagerly await your politically correct response.

[Dr. T on September 25, 2008 at 02:14 PM]

Shame about the A4. The 2004 style A4 was stunning; the perfect blend of crisp creases and smooth curves.
The subsequent model lost that and became all rounded out, losing those crisp hard lines.
The new one seems to be more of the same.
The 'schnozz' is supposed to remind people of 1930's Auto Union race cars, which needed big grills because they had huge engines. You know the days, when Germany dominated Europe--oh, sorry.

[Chris Hafner on September 25, 2008 at 02:15 PM]

alex: "Your initial description of a big "black schnozz" leading to "insecurity" and "anger" has racial overtones."

*edited, thought better of it after I saw Alex was kidding*

Reading racial overtones into a silly piece making fun of a car's overwrought grille and headlights seems a big stretch. The real issue here is - why are these cars so angry? As far as I know, nobody's wronged them in any way. The Audi is obviously livid about something - my guess as to its motivation is just that.

(Just in case people have missed the point of the Angry Cars series, I think today's over-the-top aggressive and angry cars are as ludicrous as the overstuffed action movie quotes that accompany them in these pieces. Like those cheesy quotes, these cars deserve some good-natured ribbing.)

[Chris Hafner on September 25, 2008 at 02:20 PM]

I totally agree about the 2004 Audi A4 and S4, Dr. T. Those were classy and aggressive in exactly the right proportion. I raved elsewhere in this blog about the 2004 Audi S4 Cabriolet, which I think is a masterpiece of automotive design.

Dr. T: "The 'schnozz' is supposed to remind people of 1930's Auto Union race cars, which needed big grills because they had huge engines."

Those were gorgeous race cars - and if the new Audis had lines that backed up the grille as the Auto Unions did, I'd like the looks. The S5, for example, looks angry, but the look works with the car. It's not like I'd push the S4 out of my garage, mind you, but I'd be a little sheepish driving it around, like I had a four-letter curse word tattooed on my forehead.

Forgetten from my earlier comment - cars just keep getting more and more ultra-aggressive design cues. What's next? Cars painted with the vicious and leering "Flying Tiger" nose insignia from World War II?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_tigers

[alex on September 25, 2008 at 02:21 PM]

I was being sarcastic. That's my politically correct response.

[Mochi Mochi on September 25, 2008 at 02:38 PM]

Rob: "No personal opinion of a stylist would warrant such a move. Every car is approved by marketing for a reason"

Wrong and Right. As usual we agree and disagree. Yes everything is approved for marketing reasons. But to say that the stylist does not influence that process is wrong and disingenuous. It's like saying they don't have any authorship and are completely irrelevant. That particular part of what you said is just completely wrong. Stylists and designers work with trends, influence design form, and are influenced by the work of other designers and trends, and they do that all within an approval process. That's the way it has always been and always will be. It does not say that they have license to do what they like or parade their stylistic preferences over the larger approval process - so we can't fully blame them - but in the same way that we praise them we can critique their work. They are ultimately the authors - their "pen" forms the design.

ROB: "I'd say it's a billion factors, but all can be summed up by people want to appear aggressive to others. This is why SUVs are popular"

I completely agree with you.

Rob: "musclecars are made 'sinister' and not 'fun', and would explain the large grill trend. It makes cars look faster, more performance oriented, more badass. etc."

Agreed. But. There are ways to make cars look fast, badass, and aggressive, without the huge grill. I think these grandiose grill styling follies just make the cars look disproportionate and unbalanced with out any styling or performance benefit. They just look like a cartoon character overdrawn and badly drawn.

The porsche 928 and 924 were completely badass aggressive looking cars. But if you look at them they don't have huge open maws.

I think there is some kind of insecurity going on here and the stylist are as much a part of that as the audience or the marketing team. The stylists are living in the same world as everyone else and they are part of the feedback loop.

I'm just looking forward to the day when trends swing back away from these cartoon grills.

[Mochi Mochi on September 25, 2008 at 02:40 PM]

Rob: "No personal opinion of a stylist would warrant such a move. Every car is approved by marketing for a reason"

Wrong and Right. As usual we agree and disagree. Yes everything is approved for marketing reasons. But to say that the stylist does not influence that process is wrong and disingenuous. It's like saying they don't have any authorship and are completely irrelevant. That particular part of what you said is just completely wrong. Stylists and designers work with trends, influence design form, and are influenced by the work of other designers and trends, and they do that all within an approval process. That's the way it has always been and always will be. It does not say that they have license to do what they like or parade their stylistic preferences over the larger approval process - so we can't fully blame them - but in the same way that we praise them we can critique their work. They are ultimately the authors - their "pen" forms the design.

ROB: "I'd say it's a billion factors, but all can be summed up by people want to appear aggressive to others. This is why SUVs are popular"

I completely agree with you.

Rob: "musclecars are made 'sinister' and not 'fun', and would explain the large grill trend. It makes cars look faster, more performance oriented, more badass. etc."

Agreed. But. There are ways to make cars look fast, badass, and aggressive, without the huge grill. I think these grandiose grill styling follies just make the cars look disproportionate and unbalanced with out any styling or performance benefit. They just look like a cartoon character overdrawn and badly drawn.

The porsche 928 and 924 were completely badass aggressive looking cars. But if you look at them they don't have huge open maws.

I think there is some kind of insecurity going on here and the stylist are as much a part of that as the audience or the marketing team. The stylists are living in the same world as everyone else and they are part of the feedback loop.

I'm just looking forward to the day when trends swing back away from these cartoon grills.

[sigh on September 25, 2008 at 06:20 PM]

Ya got me alex. Sometimes sarcasm doesn't come through so well on the web. I withdraw my comment.

[Rob the SVX guy on September 25, 2008 at 09:15 PM]

Mochi, true, but the fact is almost all cars are designed by committee; think focus groups, market research, etc. Sure, a designer might have a sketch slightly resembling the end product, but what is produced is not really close to the designers 'vision' at all. Marketing, engineering, and CAFE requirements all change aspects of a vehicle. To blame the huge schnozz or any feature of a car souly on a designer is kind of misplaced. If a designer penned a car without a huge grill... guess what? It wouldn't go into production. That's not what's in vogue in today's world, according to the bean counters and solitaire/golf majors...err... business majors. Woops! I didn't mean to say that.

[Mochi Mochi on September 25, 2008 at 10:42 PM]

Rob: "To blame the huge schnozz or any feature of a car souly on a designer is kind of misplaced" no way man! I'd never do that. I'd blame the marketing department and the "creative director" too ! :) No I don't spend much time blaming designers... that would be self defeating. The only time I blame them is when they give in to formal whim and forget that design is about more than just a pretty picture:P

To one degree or another the majority of "design" 2d and 3d is "designed by committee - even if that committee is you (the designer) and the client :)

Having spent most of my life in design of one sort or another... I know that designers like shapes and usually dramatic ones. And designers like to design within and around trends. I'm guessing that the designers for Audi don't hate their jobs that much. The gripe about the marketing department. But they like the designs they pen - they want influence and authorship. And every project is a chance to make a difference... "maybe this time I'll get creative control!" So I don't blame anyone... I just wonder why these guys like adding carp like snouts on the cars they design. If they hated it they'd go somewhere else. Audi's not the only show in town.

[darren on October 18, 2008 at 05:12 PM]

I think that the large grill trend has to do with the reality that there is no real reason to have a bumper separate the upper and lower grilles. That design element is a carryover from when bumpers were metal bars applied to the outside of the sheetmetal. Since the bumpers are all now tucked underneath flexible composite bodywork, designers realized that that visual horizontal line could go away. The Chrysler 300 was one of the first mainstream cars to successfully create the prominent large grill. I have a 2004 S4 Cabrio that has the conventional grill design, which I prefer on that car. I don't think Audi did a very good job grafting the large grill design onto their existing B6 platform A4s. With the redesigned "schnozz," the front appears slightly longer, ruining the lines of an otherwise athletically proportioned sedan and convertible. But I do think the S5 and the R8 look fantastic.