Most Boring Car Ever
By request, and based on the comments threads from a few recent posts, here's what could be the biggest challenge of them all--what is the most boring car ever made?
This is tricky; much trickier than identifying the worst car ever made. "Worst" "ugliest" and "slowest" are all strong flavors; perhaps even stronger than "best," "most beautiful," and "fastest." Boring implies a complete lack of flavor, but it's hard to identify. By definition, you're having to find something remarkably unremarkeable.
For the record, I don't the Suzuki Verona is the most boring car ever. It doesn't inspire heart palpitations, certainly, but I actually find it somewhat interesting. For starters, I think it's fairly handsome. Besides its looks it sounds from Nathan's description as if it is an excellent highway cruiser. When I look at the Verona, I think of a modern-day Buick, sold and marketed by a quirky small brand. That's not exciting, but it at least makes me look at the Verona in a new light.
But the most boring car? No. The Suzuki isn't nearly dull enough for that.
There have been a lot of great suggestions so far, all of them quite valid, and I'd welcome any more suggestions. Speaking for myself, the two most boring cars in my mind are Toyotas. I'll "honor" the runner-up here, and then feature my pick for the most boring car tomorrow. As luck would have it, I was already going to feature it as a Car Disgust and already have the post mostly written.
Most Boring Car Runner-Up
The first-generation Toyota Solara is mind-bendingly boring. The only potentially interesting thing about it is the fact that it's a two-door. But even that works against it because ... yawn ... what were we talking about again?
Nothing about this car is interesting, and when I try to concentrate on the Solara with the purpose of forming a firm opinion, my mind just slips off and starts thinking about something else. Thinking about the Solara is like trying to pick up a slippery bar of soap.
Ladies and gentlemen, if Car Lust is a disease--and it likely is--the Solara is an effective cure. I'll reveal the cure-all tomorrow.
--Chris H.
Mochi Mochi on June 19, 2008 at 12:40 PM
We had a 66 Falcon Station wagon with a 289V8. There was nothing incredibly remarkable about the car except that it was pretty nice for its time. They styling of the 66 wagon was clean. The car was on the small side for the times. I remember liking it, but I also remember it had a lot of lean in the corners. The 289 was a great engine. And even with the V8 there was enough room in the engine area to set up a small apartment. There are a few Falcons running around LA. They look pretty nice. The size and shape is pleasing in a very retro way. The older sedans are nice, and all the wagons are GREAT. The later sedans were a bit on the bland side but still the lines were crisp. It was pretty different in its day. I'm sure the driving experience would be nothing I'd want but when I see one on the road they catch my eye.
Chip on June 19, 2008 at 05:24 PM
Gotta be the mid-90's Plymouth Acclaim... or same era Geo Prism.
Steaming Pile on June 19, 2008 at 07:50 PM
@Simon - I had a Volvo 240 once, and I can vouch for everything you're saying. In addition to that, it had the most craptastic fuel economy of any four cylinder car I have ever owned. 17 MPG highway, going 55 MPH down a 20% grade with a 40 MPH tailwind. Even with $1.10 gas, it just pissed me off.
Got rid of it after about a year and a half of patching it back together, replacing fuses, etc., and got a 1988 Dodge Colt, which also ought to qualify for the finals in this contest at least. No styling, no power, three-speed automatic, but you couldn't kill it, as much as I tried to kill mine. I would put stickers over the dings and scratches, mistakenly thinking they would give the car character over and above the dings and scratches. Hey, what do you want for three grand?
Ahanix on August 27, 2008 at 06:34 PM
I'll have to agree with the above comment on the Chevy Uplander... I had to look it up just to see what it looked like. The only one I've EVER seen in real life... is owned by the post office. It's an outdated, boring minivan that is used as a fleet vehicle by the US Postal Service.
Definently mid-90's Camry though. It in a parking lot is like a 10 year old in a wedding -- just sorta sits around... absolutely nothing special. At least one Camry is hit in a parking lot every year because the other drive simply... didn't see it in the parking stall. It doesn't even scream "bland", it groans it. You go to a used car dealership, make yourself look defeated... find the salesman who has given up... he slinks out, you greet him... "uh yeah...i just need a car". He shrugs at the gray (not silver, gray) 1994 Camry LE, "thats a car". He sells it, no hassle. Put down the down-payment, hell don't even bother with monthly payments, like we're gonna try to chase after you. You're doing us a favor getting it off the lot.
Wylde Hyena on November 05, 2008 at 12:30 PM
Most boring car ever since it was made--and now still as ugly as ever:
Honda Civic...
For years it has always looked the same, especially in the 90s. That is the true car that deserves such a terrible award.
Jason Carpp on December 03, 2008 at 12:04 AM
How do you say "Ugly" in Japanese? Whoever styled the Solara should be taken out into the middle of nowhere and shot! It's the ugliest car I've ever seen, next to the Prius.
Robert on December 06, 2008 at 12:52 PM
The most boring car of all time must be the Datsun 120Y. The fact that they were mechanically very reliable meant they lived with us for a long time. It wasn’t particularly ugly, just odd.
Jared Porcenaluk on March 03, 2009 at 08:34 AM
Unfortunately, I would have to disagree in that the Volvo 240 series was boring. It was interesting in that they last so long. A boring car, I would have to say, would die at exactly 175,000 miles by a no-start problem. Boooring.
The Solara is a good pick for the most boring in that it is so pathetically trying to be decent by being a two-door. It is like a Volvo 240 is potatoes. Boring, but you expect that. The Solara is like a steak with no spice, it will make you speak up and say "Hey, this is really really boring." It is strange logic, but I think it might work. It had the potential to be exciting, but because it was castrated, it is sickeningly boring.
If I were choosing from new cars, I would say a Ford Taurus. Wow, is that car exceptionally boring, or what?
conor on April 12, 2010 at 04:14 PM
surley the nissan sunny! in a beige colour with khaki interior
Rick on April 23, 2010 at 03:32 AM
Dodge.... Stratus...
saddest escort driver ever on May 25, 2010 at 09:15 AM
the escort is by far the least appealing vehicle ever made...unless you count 21-30 mpg as appealing, certainly steer clear
Beelzebubba on June 16, 2010 at 09:18 AM
The 1996-2001 Toyota Camry, Gold with tan interior, 4-cylinder/automatic: the phrase "dull as dishwater" doesn't begin to convey how mind-numbingly boring these things are...and they run forever (if they don't run INTO something), so the misery never ends!
The 2000-2007 Ford Taurus (especially with the 160hp 3.0L 'Vulcan' V6) is a close runner-up to the Camry. The gruff sounds from the engine and self-destructing transmissions made it slightly less boring, if far more despicable than the Camry...
Econo Family Cars Suck! on November 06, 2010 at 10:28 PM
I hate Toyota Corollas, Camrys, Honda Civics and Accords. I'd rather take friggin' public transportation!
It's nice to find this blog and the readers' comments. Makes me feel better that there are people out there who are passionate about cars.
Patrick on January 03, 2011 at 01:27 PM
I think the majority of "boring cars" here are far too un-reliable to be called boring(most GM cars, Chrysler Sebring, non toyota). IMO. To me, boring means to be reliable but not "too reliable" but to be just good enough to be reliable, like Toyota, if that makes sense. For instance, my niehbors old Geo Prizm (re-badged corrola) was one of those cars that you would see it next to you on a free way, then it will pull off, then you forget it's existance a few minuts later. And I think the reason why we call toyotas boring is because we are looking at ones in good shape, for instance my nieghbor has a 91 Celica that is dented, rusted out muffler, and the starter had to be smacked with a hammer to get it to run (no joke).
Patrick on January 03, 2011 at 01:29 PM
And that what makes that little coupe exciting.
Davis on January 05, 2011 at 03:21 AM
Well in Japanese they have several words for Boring.
Either
Suzuki, Mazda, Prius, Civic, Camry, Mitsubishi Galant or Insight.
Most 4 bangers should be on the boring list. Also I once drive a Mercedes 300D (diesel) in Europe and I'll tell you, that was the longest drive in my life. Even though it was a straight 6 engine it barely made it up to 78 MPH on the autobahn.
It gets worst. Try to look at a mid 90s Mazda 626. That's the definition of boring design and ugliness.
Volvo is just dull. Same thing goes for most mid sized GM cars.
Only Americans, Italians and Germans should be allowed to produce cars. Nothing better then a 60s hemi or a v8 Italian wonder, or a brilliant designed BMW v10.