The 100-MPG Tragedy
In an era in which gas prices continue to spiral continually upwards, and the true social and ecological costs of burning fossil fuels are becoming increasingly obvious, I think it's appropriate to remember the Turbo Encabulator--a piece of transmission technology that could have easily helped America's cars achieve 100 mpg or more. Unfortunately, once the big oil corporations heard about the potential of the Turbo Encabulator, the technology was quicky discredited and quashed.
Chrysler briefly toyed with this technology, building it into the A-604 Automatic Transaxle slated for use in the early 1990s Dodge Dynasty. The A-604 never went into production, but Chrysler's training video below helps shed some light both on the revolutionary theory behind the Turbo Encabulator and some of the challenges involved with repairing the unit.
The video below seems to download slowly for me; if you're also having issues you may want to start and then immediately pause it until it's entirely downloaded.
Rockwell Automotive was one of the pioneers of Turbo Encabulation technology; the video below includes some of the technical information from the above video, with the addition of some history and background.
Thanks to the self-interested efforts of big oil, the Turbo Encabulator has been slandered as ineffective; some even call it "a complete joke." But while the Turbo Encabulator eventually fizzled out in the automotive industry, Rockwell was successful in creating a closely related Retro Encabulator that has revolutionized industrial automation. Information on the Retro Encabulator below:
Someday we may see Turbo Encabulators in cars again; as far as I'm concerned, that day can't come quickly enough.
--Chris H.
Anthony Cagle on June 09, 2008 at 02:30 PM
Heh.
Mochi Mochi on June 09, 2008 at 03:27 PM
Talk about deadpan delivery. Got me with this one - well done. I was about to pull out my engineering degree and rant about urban legends and spoofs and how CarLust was descending into anarchic hoax-ville. Then I looked at the calendar to make sure it wasn't April 1st or something.
If you were asleep and suddenly awakened - as was I - watch the videos or check out this link...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turboencabulator
If you've had your coffee today then continue to laugh.
If you have had your caffeine and a few hits off your crack pipe and you are a professional conspiracy theorist - do not research this any further. You have found the holy grail! Soylent Green is people - it's people!!!
Nathan of Brainfertilizer Fame on June 09, 2008 at 03:53 PM
Whewee!
The only thing I think they missed was that shade-tree mechanics could increase the confabulation as long as they sparkillated the parameters according to a precyrcadian rhythm method.
Em Rellim on June 10, 2008 at 07:25 AM
I don't think we should disuade alternatives to our low gas mileage vehicles! Experimentation and collaboration should already have been occuring to solve the MPG issue - now here we are running around with our pants on fire. I don't see such panic over the rise in the cost of "celery" - of course I guess we don't absolutely need "celery" (I do)!!!!! Let's see what else could we NOT do without - - electricity would tops on my list - - we don't panic when those companies raise their prices - and they have over the years. Not to change this important subject but I have a tidbit for anyone in business. FREE internet advertising - check out www.planetbuzz.com. A user can create their own ad and update at will - - what a concept!!! I've confirmed it - it's true. Open to the public on 6/26/08 - but you can check out the site now and watch the video. Just hit go! If you decide to get on the bandwagon and create your ad now - you will need the promo code of mm1051. Check 'er out. And let's rally around the high "celery prices"!
Mochi Mochi on June 10, 2008 at 10:18 AM
I picked up a black market Turbo Encabulator last night and installed it in my civic. It was amazing, the micro-flux in my ECM Capacitator was oscillating at 20 times the originally specified Argo Levels. The secondary manifold flow through was also increased by 50 MegaTrans. And you should see what it does to celery and online advertising distribution. Craziest thing I've ever seen - now I can create my own celery puree recipes, design an online ad campaign, and sell soup to millions in Mumbai.
Pundit Joe on June 12, 2008 at 04:05 AM
There are so many things that let the viewers know this is a gag, but my favorite has to be the "Peruvian Academy of Scatological Sciences” in the second clip. Poop is always a safe bet in comedy.