When Car Lust goes too far
After reading this eyebrow-raising story, I felt the need to share it and discuss what can happen when Car Lust goes just way, way too far.
There is a lot of wild stuff in that story, including a passage about a helicopter that I wish I had never read. Since this is a family blog I'll just include the least steamy quote from the story:
"There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving. There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them."
* Okay, first things first. This guy lives in Washington State and lusts after cars. I live in Washington State and write for a blog called "Car Lust." I've even written posts referring to my Car Lust as "my sickness." Um, just for the record, the guy featured in the story isn't me. For the love of God, it's not me.
* I often use romantic language about cars--i.e. cars get my heart rate up, my palms sweaty, they capture my heart. Basically, Car Lust causes my more base instincts to override my higher brain functions. I think that's true of even the more popular types of lust.
* Following on from that, I've certainly had some pretty powerful relationships with my cars. I know some of the other Car Lust commenters have as well. But, personally, I can't say I've ever really been tempted to actually have, erm, relations with one. Call me crazy, but I've always thought actually driving the car was a more rewarding (and probably more comfortable) way to carry on my relationship with my car.
* I was horrified to see that a '73 Opel GT is part of this man's, um, fleet. I think we should stage an intervention.
--Chris H.
David Drucker on May 29, 2008 at 07:23 PM
I'm reminded of a filthy story involving the foreign legion, a lonely new recruit, and a camel. The punchline is "that's nice, but we generally ride the camel into town."
Actually, Chris, I'd seen mention of that gent somewhere or other, but never made the connection, and certainly didn't think of you.
Anyway, relations *in* a car, that's kind of sweet; relations *with* a car -- especially a car not one's own -- not so much!
OldCarGuy on May 29, 2008 at 07:25 PM
Oh, the poor Beetle . . .
Intervention? If he gets caught trying anything like that in my neck of the South, he probably won't be able to have "relations" for the rest of his life.
Mochi Mochi on May 29, 2008 at 07:49 PM
What a wanker.
Brian on May 29, 2008 at 08:35 PM
"Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses."
Well, all I can say is 'holy crap.' Defiled!! This is what wrecks the used car market y'know. Who would want the '69 after this dude has had his 'way' with it? Yargh. Please enjoy this article about the beetle:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/main.jhtml?xml=/motoring/2004/06/04/emrcult05.xml
Anthony Cagle on May 30, 2008 at 07:52 AM
Thank you for that post, Chris.
I shall now pour a gallon of bleach over my brain.
BTW, I should probably admit that I, too, live in Washington state and that it's not me, either. Wasn't there another guy here who got killed having relations with a horse? Sheesh. Between these guys and all the serial killers it's a wonder anyone wants to move here. . . .
Mochi Mochi on May 30, 2008 at 02:23 PM
I was thinking of taking a road trip through Washington State. Now I'm not so sure that's a good idea.
isitacrossfromchris on May 31, 2008 at 08:29 PM
Now I finally figured out why the Car Lust Blog gets a large amount of traffic. It's BECAUSE OF THIS GUY! Just think of all the people out there who want to read more about this freak and type "car lust" into the search engine.
Chris, you owe this guy at least one night with the Accord.
Grey on June 01, 2008 at 12:29 PM
Ugh,
Shouldn't checking the VIN give us this type of information when buying used cars?
Peter on June 01, 2008 at 02:16 PM
"Mochi Mochi on May 29, 2008 at 07:49 PM
What a wanker."
Oh that he was merely a wanker....
Ed on June 01, 2008 at 05:51 PM
the Mercury Mistress:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5sOCEUpGZI
Bryan Frymire on June 02, 2008 at 12:36 AM
I wonder if Saturday Night Live had Mercury as a sponsor? I also wonder how this was cleared by their legal department.
Great commercial parody though.
Fendago on June 02, 2008 at 12:09 PM
I thought people in Washington State lusted only after barnyard animals.
Nike Air Force One on April 23, 2009 at 09:20 AM
Awesome..