Car Disgust--Suzuki X-90
by Chris Hafner
on May 02, 2008
Special for today, a Car Disgust twin pack!
When I posted the Yugo GVX Car Disgust a few months ago, a co-worker told me that all the commentary was unnecessary--that simply running the photo would convey all of the horror and derision necessary.
So, it's in that spirit that I present the Suzuki X-90. Gaze at the photos--nothing else needs to be said.
--Chris H.
David Drucker on May 02, 2008 at 10:04 AM
Come on, even Smurfs need wheels.
Mochi Mochi on May 02, 2008 at 10:18 AM
I agree with David. This thing is so incredibly harmless it's really hard for me to dislike it. I'm kind of starting to like it - there's a cuddliness about this thing - I almost want to hug the purple one. Especially after the 300000000GT. The X-90 is incompetent in terms of profile styling. It's probably even more incompetent in terms of performance. But if this thing pulled up to the curb, I'd expect to see clowns or smurfs get out. Who doesn't like happy little clowns and smurfs?
Chris Hafner on May 02, 2008 at 10:30 AM
The photo of the purple X-90 is probably at the X-90's best angle--though the fakey little bull bar is pretty ridiculous.
But that profile ... my God ...
Rob the SVX guy on May 02, 2008 at 10:30 AM
Won't ever drive one, but don't hate it. Why?
This is what most SUV owners should actually be driving.
Chris Hafner on May 02, 2008 at 10:33 AM
Rob the SVX Guy: "This is what most SUV owners should actually be driving."
Wow. That is truly cruel.
hunter on May 02, 2008 at 11:13 AM
So help me, I actually kind of like the X-90. Yes, it's an extremely stupid and pointless vehicle, but it's so damn cute. It kind of looks like a kei car all grown up. Or a 4WD Civic del Sol. And the base model drives the back wheels. Come on, that's at least slightly cool.
Build up an X-90 and it could be the most awesomely hilarious rally car (or better yet, drift machine!) ever conceived.
Of course, you'd have to be completely mad.
Chris Hafner on May 02, 2008 at 11:19 AM
hunter: "Build up an X-90 and it could be the most awesomely hilarious rally car (or better yet, drift machine!) ever conceived."
Okay, now, this is pure genius. Perhaps add a few (erroneous) Mugen Power stickers, or perhaps Rob's "WINDSHIELD" windshield sticker?
I'd love to see an X-90 four-wheel drifting through a long gravel sweeper, inexorably catching the WRXs and Evos ahead.
Mochi Mochi on May 02, 2008 at 11:41 AM
Genius! Now I'm lusting for a drift version of an X-90. The stickers will work!
Cookie the Dog's Owner on May 02, 2008 at 01:20 PM
It's not ugly, just dorky. A drift version would be absurd, but lovably so.
Nathan on May 02, 2008 at 07:43 PM
Suzuki means well. They really do.
But they just seem to suck at everything they try.
I owned a Suzuki Verona for about 18 months before I gave up in disgust and sold it at a loss...in retrospect, I shouldn't have, but the decision was triggered by other factors besides just the car itself.
Still, it was a Camry-level car at Corolla-level prices...and still failed to please. Then again, it was the best-looking thing Suzuki has ever done...except that it was a design for/by Daewoo that was handed to them by GM when Suzuki wanted to expand back into cars for the US.
The Aerio was one of the ugliest cars I've ever seen.
They are consistently 2-3 mpg lower than the industry average at any price/size point.
The X-90 just adds icing to the cake: "Suzuki: Interesting cars designed by automotive morons."
The only good thing I've ever seen Suzuki do was the Esteem station wagon. I didn't even notice them until recently I've realized that there are no less than 8 separate models I see weekly just in the area of Oahu I live...they have all held up VERY well for 8 year old cars, and apparently sold quite well in that section of Hawaii. It's almost enough to trigger a Car Lust reaction in me.
Rob the SVX guy on May 02, 2008 at 09:32 PM
They just need to throw a turbo on one of their models and make it remotely interesting, and suddenly you'd have the underdog bargain basement screamer all of us really want: Light, lacking extra stupid options, and fun to drive.
Anthony Cagle on May 03, 2008 at 08:21 AM
The top photo looks kinda dorky, but the t-top one looks pretty neat. I know next to nothing about Suzukis though. I worked with a woman who just went from one contract archaeology job to another for a living -- a true shovel bum -- and she just loved her Samurai.
Chris on May 03, 2008 at 01:11 PM
Suzuki needs to get off their collective butts and bring some real cars over. Their current Swift is one hot little car. And the X90 isn't too bad, just a little stupid. Most of them around here ended up as Red Bull promotional vehicles, with a huge Red Bull can propped between the trunk and the rear "roll bar".
Oatworm on May 05, 2008 at 06:59 PM
The Samurai was genius - yes, it was a gutless wonder to the negative-nth power, but it didn't matter. It was (and probably still is) the closest you could come to an honest-to-God World War 2 vintage Willeys Jeep, weak four-banger and all. Was it mechanically sophisticated? God no. Would they run forever? Well, it is a GM-affiliated company, and like so many things GM, every Samurai I ever saw ran bad longer than most cars ran.
As for the X-90, on the other hand... wow. That's truly horrendous right there. I don't know if I'd rank it "ahead" of the likes of, say, the Isuzu Axiom or even the Isuzu VehiCROSS, but it's definitely... something.
ajay on June 12, 2008 at 10:59 AM
This car was my dream car when it first came out and I was 15. I think I was the only person in my high school that wanted one. I'm now 27 and live in a big city and think this car would be great. Yeah, I still want the little thing.
Marion Holzwarth on June 12, 2008 at 03:15 PM
I own a X90 and it is very ecomonical, and great to drive. When I am not on my bike this works to pop around town to do errands. More people should be driving small cars.
Jen Hussey on June 14, 2008 at 12:18 PM
I love MY X90, BOUGHT IT IN 1989 AND STILL OWN IT, I FEEL BAD TO GET RID OF IT. I JUST BOUGHT A DIAHATSU COPEN AND I STILL HAVE THE X90 WHICH I'V PASSED ONTO MY FATHER, TO LOOK AFTER IT FOR ME. I'V HAD YEARS OF FUN AND YEARS OF STAIRS,NICE STAIRS, IN THE X90 AND PEOPLE OFTEN STOP ME TO ASK ABOUT IT.IT'S UNIQUE AND NOT LIKE EVERY OTHER CAR YOU SEE e.g, BMW,GOLF,FORD VAUXHALL.... YOU HAVE TO BE UNIQUE TO LIKE IT...
Jen Hussey on June 14, 2008 at 12:21 PM
I love MY X90, BOUGHT IT IN 1989 AND STILL OWN IT, I FEEL BAD TO GET RID OF IT. I JUST BOUGHT A DIAHATSU COPEN AND I STILL HAVE THE X90 WHICH I'V PASSED ONTO MY FATHER, TO LOOK AFTER IT FOR ME. I'V HAD YEARS OF FUN AND YEARS OF STAIRS,NICE STAIRS, IN THE X90 AND PEOPLE OFTEN STOP ME TO ASK ABOUT IT.IT'S UNIQUE AND NOT LIKE EVERY OTHER CAR YOU SEE e.g, BMW,GOLF,FORD VAUXHALL.... YOU HAVE TO BE UNIQUE TO LIKE IT...
Courtney S. on June 24, 2008 at 03:53 PM
Oh come on!!! This car is ADORABLE!!! :) Ok I admit it - I, like ajay wanted one in high school - and I still have it (I'm in a big city now and can't afford to house it). But it is the cutest thing! Plus - it's so rare in my town that whenever I drive people CONSTANTLY ask me what it is, where I got it, etc.
It's useless as far as design, speed, and other true great car "factors" - but it gets you around. And it gets you noticed ;-)
Penny on June 25, 2008 at 09:32 PM
I have a 1997 X90 that I bought new and I will never ever get rid of this car. I love it. When other people were shoveling their cars out of the snow I just jumped in put it in 4 wheel drive floored it and I was on my way. Yes people looked at me like I was crazy but I just looked at them and laughed and said "now THAT's what I'm talking about" lol I even pulled my ex's Buick Regal out of the snow when he got stuck. Under all that purple there's a beast! :o)
It has just now started giving me some major problems. The engine still runs like a top - it's just everything else is giving me problems. It has 117,000 miles on it and I still refuse to part with it. Or course if your out for power and speed this car wouldn't be for you. All I can say is I love this car!!!!
barbara on June 26, 2008 at 07:50 PM
I luv my x90. I bought it new in 97 and it has never been a problem. I can go places where big 4x4's can't.
John Gillan on July 10, 2008 at 06:30 PM
I was born in 1942 and have always been a bit of a gearhead.
As an architect, I am drawn to homely design (not homey).
In the late 40's (1947?) Dodge (Desoto?) offered a thing they called
the "Businessman's Coupe". I was a 2-door sedan with no back seat and a foreshortend top and, as a result, a groosly elongated trunk.
The profile was, not to put too fine a point on it, grotesque.
I liked it and I like the X90 as well.
I am seriously thinking of buying one. I Googled X90 and found you
lads.
Ta
ED on July 16, 2008 at 03:59 AM
Ta, there was also the Ford Club Coupe which looked very much like the X90 and the Businessman's Coupe. It was a 2 door with the long trunk. Wish I had one. I like the X90 and was trying to find one I could buy but no luch so far.
Ed
Harry on July 20, 2008 at 02:36 PM
I have the twin to the purple (mystic blue?) x90 pictured above & it is absolutely the best car I've ever owned. It only has 95 hp so you practically need an egg timer to guage 0-60 time ... but if you want to drive something that's fun & different (really different) this is definitely the way to go.
KASSY on July 29, 2008 at 10:50 PM
i own a silver x90 and i have had it for 9 and a half years,since i've had the car all i've had to replace is the tyre's and i only did that last month.
mate if i could marry my car i would.
x90 lover to the end, till she falls apart around me.