1993 Saturn SL2

                         

Today's Car Disgust is a car that I loathe out of personal experience--the 1993 Saturn SL2.

From its inception, Saturn has enjoyed a mystical halo--a reputation of kindness, decency, and the ability to inspire cultish devotion among its customers. Part of it, I think, was the much-hyped Saturn no-haggle price policy, which in my opinion was breathtaking in its cynicism. There's actually no need to dicker on the price of any car--just offer to pay full price, and you'll have a grinning salesperson ready to sign you up without negotiation. Negotiation is good for the customer because it will get you a lower price.

But, whatever the motivation, Saturn has enjoyed one of the most passionate and fervently joyful owner bases in autodom. What really confuses me about this is that until the last year or two, when they increasingly became rebadged Opels, the cars weren't great.

My wife and I purchased a six-year-old '93 Saturn SL2 from some Saturn-loving friends of ours. The idea of owning a Saturn didn't especially excite me, but we needed a second car and a Saturn seemed a harmless if boring choice. The SL2 at least had a twin-cam engine and a five-speed, so I thought it might be at least mildly interesting to drive.

Not so. The interior was strictly econobox-class, with abrasive, cheap plastics, poor design and layout, unsupportive seats, and shoddy construction standards. The exterior design was uninspired and cheap-looking.

Things were vastly worse on the mechanical front--and I can only think that the problems we had with our Saturn were part of General Motors' highly successful campaign to drive away a loyal customer base during the late 1980s and early 1990s. It certainly had that effect on me.

In our first weekend of ownership, the Saturn sprang a coolant leak that left the car smelling vaguely of antifreeze for the rest of our time together. After the leak and a near-overheat situation, there emerged a curious squawk from the engine that sounded like a leaky hose or a bad seal. The shop, of course, couldn't find a problem.

Since there were no cupholders, we used to rest our drinks in a convenient divot in the center console; unfortunately, the collected condensation from our drinks worked its way down through the plastic and shorted out the whole electrical system. The clutch had to be replaced and the gearbox rebuilt. There were also random but seemingly impossible-to-find oil leaks that left the underside of the hood soaked in oil.

I suppose I can't blame this on the car, but two tires (both with good tread life, at good pressures) blew up massively on the freeway, one cutting the wires to the fuel pump and leaving my wife and I stranded on the freeway on our way to a vacation for our first wedding anniversary. I still have a photo of my wife sitting despondently on the hood of the Saturn that day, grim and depressed. Happy Anniversary, honey!

The Saturn was supposed to be our nice newer car; it was pampered by the first owners, was only six years old, and only had about 70,000 miles on it. Instead, it was thoroughly outclassed in every way by our much older 250,000-mile Volvo 240. When I subsequently bought my beater 1983 Chevy Malibu Wagon, I was struck by how markedly superior the decade-older Malibu was in every respect.

But the Saturn's real crime against humanity was sucking out part of my enjoyment of driving. Before the Saturn, I trusted and enjoyed my cars, pushing them to their limits, confident that the machinery would do its part. But the Saturn destroyed my psyche; the effect is not unlike that of a betrayal by a loved one--regaining the ability to trust takes time, and I am only slowly recovering from that damage.

Now, when I'm driving any car, even a nice new one, I'm always on edge waiting for impending cataclysmic failure. I find myself wondering:

Does the idle seem a bit uneven?

That subtle feeling in the steering wheel--is that a change in the pavement, or is a tire about to go?

Does the engine sound a little rougher than usual at higher revs? I hope the engine's not being starved for oil!

The brakes feel a little spongy--I hope I'm not causing rotor damage!

These thoughts now torment me, and for that reason I will hate our old Saturn forever.

As an addendum, the Saturn-loving friends from whom we bought the car were horrified at our problems. They loved it when they owned it, and have owned several more Saturns and couldn't be happier. I suppose that just goes to show you that Car Disgust is a highly personal thing.

These photos are not of our Saturn, but by the end, this is what I would have done to it.

--Chris H.

Comments

[Hell_Is_Like_Newark on July 14, 2008 at 12:52 PM]

I have the same year / model car and my experience has been the opposite of your. I have had it since 1995 and its still going strong. Excluding damage from hitting a massive sink hole and normal wear items (brake pads, mufflers, etc), I have had to replace one alternator, a brake caliper, and the clutch gave out (after 9 years of heavy city driving). It has been a rock solid economy car that gives me over 35 mpg on the highway (during the winter).

[Toby B. on July 19, 2008 at 09:24 AM]

i own a 95 SL2 and my car is excellent, yes saturns leak oil, its a fact of life, we saturn enthusiasts know and accept the fact, but aside from that my car is highly reliable and about pushing cars to theyre limits? just because the speedometer says "130" doesnt mean that it can go "130" without consequence, this much is true for all cars. it just means they can do that....once....maybe.

Signed
Loyal Saturn Fan

[Tyler on August 17, 2008 at 07:30 PM]

I'm with you saturns suck I have the same year and model. I got mine 2 years ago as my first ever car and its been hell so far I've had it in the shop three times for tranny problems (not my fault) the ac went out, a motor mount went bad, I had to replace both front wheel bearings, the electronics in the steering went out (No horn or cruise) and the radiator is leaking now the motor seems like its getting a little sluggish too. I hate this car but can't get rid of it because i can't afford anything else.

[Larry on September 29, 2008 at 03:21 PM]

Misery loves company, which is why I read these things and laugh, even when the people who like the car, list things that have gone wrong with htiers that only a fool wouldn't realize makes their "car" a Super Lemon...
there is a certian Garage in Manhatten that I am particualrly fond of. The place caught fire when my beloved Saturn was parked inside of it and their insurance company actally paid me the book value on a car I would have sold to my worst enemy!!! These things Suck!!!My advise to anyone who owns one is be Brave, cut t your losses and just junk it... the years of agravation owning this thing will cause you, will take years off of your life... REALLY, REALLY, BAD CAR!!! I'll forsake all the little repair details and just ask any sane operson to listen to what I've just written... Get rid of that Shit Box!!!there is no need to repair anything on it, just junk it and cut your losses... Fixing it, only means it will get you stuck in another week or two anyway...

[That Car Guy on October 24, 2008 at 10:15 AM]

I think Saturn's ultimate indignity to mankind was their "Daytime Running Lamps" system starting in 1994. The headlights were too close together which made them brighter, and they used 80% of their high beams to blind all oncoming drivers. Even up in a pickup truck the lights were painful, and the Saturn drivers were mostly oblivious to the danger they caused innocent people. Those were the cars in good condition... misaimed headlamps were even more potent.

One could disable the DRLs by applying the parking brake a click or two and drive with a red BRAKE warning light. Oh, and at night, it was easy to think you had your lights on because you could already see where you were going, but none of your side, rear, or license plate lamps were on. Now that's quality engineering!