Just
as my morning posts this week will fit the Sleeper Sedan theme, my
afternoon posts will fit the Poseur Muscle Car theme, in honor of those
cars that work hard to evoke the brutal power and macho style of their
ancestors, without the actual tire-shredding performance. In some
cases, these are performance cars in appearance only; in others they
were relatively quick for their time but still bog-slow compared to the
promise of their looks. Even still, they are endearing in their sheer
empty bravado.
The mid-1980s Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS is
certainly a poseur muscle car--albeit one that is nevertheless an
object of Car Lust for me both because the style is so irresistible and
because its NASCAR iteration is one of the great stock cars of all time.
The
normal Monte Carlo, an overstyled, overwrought "personal luxury" coupe,
got a Darth Vader makeover for its SS edition. Fitted with an
aerodynamic nose cone (think of Vader's black plastic helmet), a
different rear end, special striping and wheels, and paint as black as
Vader's suit, the Monte Carlo was a leering devil of a car. The SS was
a swaggering, muscle car brute, ready to pound your car's face
in--once, you know, it was done preening.
For, you see, the Monte
Carlo SS didn't actually have much power. The most powerful V-8 in the
Monte Carlo topped out at 180 horsepower, which just wasn't enough to
make the heavy SS perform with any sort of alacrity. The Monte Carlo's
platform twin and rival, the Regal-based Buick Grand National, looked
just as evil but had breathtaking performance to match.
Happily,
the Monte Carlo SS did achieve success on the track--it was the most
successful NASCAR Winston Cup car of its generation, personified by
Dale Earnhardt's blue-and-yellow Wrangler No. 3 and his black
Goodwrench No. 3.
The street version may not have been
able to back up its bad-ass image, but at least the most bad-ass stock
car driver ever drove on the track. That's enough for me.
More information and lots of great owners' cars (including these photos) can be found at
Monte Carlo SS.com.
--Chris H.
Jeff on December 15, 2009 at 04:16 AM
I always wanted to take a ride in one of those black colored Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS..but unfortunatelly they were and still are very rare in Europe...but I still haven't given up on that...I got hooked up on that car in the 80's...I saw the model in a lot of movies those days..especially the detective/cop movies...but I just can't remember any of them by name...the 80's were a long time ago...:)